My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Thrillers: Genesis and Structure of a Popular Genre by Jerry Palmer.

The villain is thus a supplementary figure in the thriller. His role is to conspire…

… an otherwise ordered world (a world which is posited as otherwise ordered) is disrupted by villainy, and the hero acts to restore normalcy. p. 23

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

It’s Saturday and your condom of the week is brought to you by McDonalds!

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Thrillers: Genesis and Structure of a Popular Genre by Jerry Palmer.

Insofar as there is any distinction between the violence of the villain and the violence of the hero beyond the way in which it is described, it is to be found in the cold-bloodedness of the villain. p. 20

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

[Update — 0807, 3 February — Oh well.]
It took us more than two years to offer up a couple of sacrificial lambs as atonement for the incompetence of the people we trust to ensure the sanctity of our most precious obligation: our voting franchise. How long will it be now before our new Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner does what’s right and dumps touch-screen voting in Ohio?

Like Florida, yes that Florida, has done:

“Florida is like a synonym for election problems; it”s the Bermuda Triangle of elections,” said Warren Stewart, policy director of VoteTrust USA, a nonprofit group that says optical scanners are more reliable than touch screens. “For Florida to be clearly contemplating moving away from touch screens to the greatest extent possible is truly significant.”

On Monday, Representative Rush D. Holt, Democrat of New Jersey, plans to introduce a bill in Congress that would require all voting machines nationwide to produce paper records through which voters can verify that their ballots were recorded correctly. A majority of House members have endorsed the proposal, and the changes have strong support among Senate Democrats. Mr. Holt”s bill would also substantially toughen the requirements for the touch-screen machines that have printers, and experts say this could give even more impetus to the shift toward the optical scanning systems.

Now if Brunner really wants to make a name for herself she ought to do three things:

First publicly collect every touch screen in the state, pile them up in the middle of a parking lot somewhere and sell swings with a sledge hammer for $1 each to Ohio’s frustrated voters.

Second, sue Diebold and recover as much of our tax money as possible for their political pillaging of our hard-earned cash. And finally:

Third, bring charges against former Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell for complicity in subverting the voting process and helping to deliver Ohio to the George Bush election campaign.

No. 1 could happen, if Brunner has a sense of theatre. I know that No.’s 2 and 3 are billions-to-one long shots, but heh, I’m allowed to fantasize aren’t I?

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Thrillers: Genesis and Structure of a Popular Genre by Jerry Palmer.

The villain appreciates other people insofar as they behave like things. p. 19

This morning former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski testified before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. You can read the full text of his views on the war in Iraq at The Washington Note. For me the most chilling portion, specially in light of recent events is this prediction from Brzezinski if America does not change course.

If the United States continues to be bogged down in a protracted bloody involvement in Iraq, the final destination on this downhill track is likely to be a head-on conflict with Iran and with much of the world of Islam at large.

A plausible scenario for a military collision with Iran involves Iraqi failure to meet the benchmarks; followed by accusations of Iranian responsibility for the failure; then by some provocation in Iraq or a terrorist act in the U.S. blamed on Iran; culminating in a “defensive” U.S. military action against Iran that plunges a lonely America into a spreading and deepening quagmire eventually ranging across Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and Pakistan.

I think the scenario is already in play. Are you prepared to be lied to again?

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

[Update — 11:30 — OK, so the people in the whole state of Massachusetts need to stop, take a deep breath and not run screaming into the sea (or maybe that’s not such a bad idea.) To think that we almost elected someone from the loony state president. (And another is thinking about it.) Flash message to Massachusetts: THE SKY IS NOT FALLING, I repeat, THE SKY IS NOT FALLING.]

Why do we assume that terrorists are idiots? Why do we let people in power pretend that we’re threatened by 4-ounce bottles of hair gel? And what idiots in Boston thought that terrorist bombs would look like cartoon characters flipping the bird? Vice President Dick Cheney’s one-percent doctrine is shear lunacy.

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Thrillers: Genesis and Structure of a Popular Genre by Jerry Palmer.

… underlying the three kinds of motivation is a single unifying factor: the preference for things before people. p. 19

SGT Brandon White: Who are these ragtag misfits? They’re different things to different people. They are the eyes and ears of any given village in the land, and are no doubt exploited by my enemy for intel-gathering purposes. To us troops though, these kids provide a glimpse of hope among ruin, and a brief respite from the turmoils of battle. On their little faces shine bright…

It’s been a busy week in Wally World: the Universe’s source of cheap plastic crap. On The Writing On The Wal — the blog USA Today says should be on its readers’ radar — Jonathan Rees, Robert Feinman, Peter Sayles and I continue our work dedicated to drawing back the curtain on the Bentonvile Behemoth’s corporate disinformation and other flackery.

WAL-MART SETTLES OVERTIME CASE… Wal-Mart has agreed to settle with nearly 87,000 present and past employees in a case involving underpayment of overtime. There are two strange twists to this story according to various press reports that I”ve taken a look at today:
Keep reading…

THE LEFT-COAST SPIN… Jonathan and I were pounding the keys at the same time on the announcement of Wal-Mart”s nearly $34,000,000 settlement agreement with the U.S. Department of Labor. I hit publish at 1426.07 and Jonathan tapped in at 1429.02. As always, there”s plenty of story to go around. Like this little sideshow out in California. Keep reading…

I WISH I COULD GO TO KANSAS CITY… I do love the barbecue in Kansas City and I know a few good blues clubs there, but that”s not why I”d like to be there on Monday. What I like to do this time is sit down with all the Wal-Mart managers who are gathering for the annual conference. From The Associated Press:
Keep reading…

WAL-MART JUST NOT FASHIONABLE… Two years ago someone at Wal-Mart thought taking part in New York fashion frenzies was a good idea for the retailer. It was all about the upscale thing. The wealthier customer thing. The we”re tired of selling cheap plastic crap thing.
Keep reading…

AT THE WALLY PLEX… There are sound stages on Hollywood”s back lots smaller than Bentonvile”s behemoths, so it”s no surprise that budding video talent has been sneaking cameras in at odd hours. And now for the midnight show at the Wally Plex featuring lauraclarke4.
Keep reading…

KONNICHIWA WAL-MART-SAN… Over the years Wal-Mart has tried to be more Japanese-like in its institution of morning associate gatherings, the singing of company songs and the like. To the best of knowledge, the efforts were flops. So maybe buying it is better?
Keep reading…

MARION BOMBERS THREATEN WAL-MART… It”s starting to look like people here in Ohio needs a lesson on the stupidity and dangers of bomb threats. For the third time in six weeks, police in Marion (North of Columbus) vacated building after notices of explosive devices on the premises were received.
. Keep reading…

COMING TO A DECISION POINT… This Wednesday the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. may decide the fate of Wal-Mart”s banking aspirations. This case is not just about Wal-Mart. Other commercial entitities want to own and operate their own banks. I think that”s a really bad idea. Remember Mr. Potter?. Keep reading…

GUM… X5… WAL-MART…? First, what kind of name is X5? That is so KGB it gives me the shivers. Back in the day Russians would walk through GUM, the state-owned department store in Moscow, dreaming of what might be. I don”t think they realized they would be buried by cheap plastic crap. Keep reading…

LISTEN TO DR. SPOCK WAL-MART… Get”em in the womb. That”s the new catch phrase at Wal-Mart. If you”re going to addict your cutomers to cheap plastic crap, you can”t start early enough. Can”t you just see the smileys on the bottoms of their little cheap plastic nappies? Keep reading…

BI-PARTISAN SLAM FOR WAL-MART… In a move obviously intended to send a message to the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, representative Barney Frank (D-Mass.) and Paul Gilmore (R-Ohio) introduced a bill today to ban commercial companies from owning a type of bank known as an industrial loan company.
Keep reading…

ANYBODY OUT THERE SPEAK GNOME…? This is my opportunity to display my ignorance in all its glory: Jon Ogg, who last year named Wal”Mart CEO Lee Scott to a list of Top CEO”s Who Have To Go, had this to say about Wal-Mart today. Under the headline: Cramer… slaps Lee Scott of Wal-Mart, Ogg wrote:
Keep reading…

WAL-MART JAPAN BLEEDING YEN… Even as Wal-Mart is looking to expand its retail business in Japan, it”s existing Japanese operation is in the red and announced today that it would go even further in the hole than previously announced. Five years in and it still can”t turn a profit? Keep reading…

BOB”S BANK…? OK, the name wouldn”t really be Bob”s Bank, it”s really Urban Trust Bank and owner Bob Johnson announced today that he intends to open branches inside Wal-Mart stores. Right now Johnson isn”t talking numbers, only that he”ll open branches in select stores. Keep reading…

WAL-MART MANAGEMENT SHAKEUP CONTINUES… In the wake of last week”s changes, Wal-Mart announced two more top management changes yesterday that could send ripples through the company, utlimately effecting as many as 15 senior management positions. From CNN Money:
Keep reading…

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

Sometimes name calling isn’t swearing…

Part of being a good citizen of the blogosphere is visiting, reading and, most importantly, taking the time to leave a comment on other’s blogs. It’s all about the conversation. In the interest of setting an example I’ve decided to link to those blog posts that have compelled me to leave a comment.

0747 Ha-ha

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Thrillers: Genesis and Structure of a Popular Genre by Jerry Palmer.

“… through only cruelty one rises to heights of superhuman awareness, of sensitivity to new modes of being, that can”t be attained by any other method,” Marquis de Sade, The Philosopher in the Boudoir. p. 18