I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.
How old is Grandpa?
Stay with this — the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandfather replied, “Well, let me think a minute, I was born before: television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill.
There were no: credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens.
Man had not invented: pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn’t yet walked on the moon.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, “Sir”. And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, “Sir.”
We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.
We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends — not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt or guys wearing earrings.
We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President’s speeches on our radios. And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw ! anything with ‘Made in Japan’ on it, it was junk.
The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on your school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald’s and instant coffee were unheard of.
We had 5 &1 0-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
And if you didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day: grass was mowed, Coke was a cold drink, pot was something your mother cooked in and rock music was your grandmother’s lullaby. Aids were helpers in the Principal’s office, chip meant a piece of wood, hardware was found in a hardware store and software” wasn’t even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is a generation gap. And how old do you think I am?
I bet you have this old man in mind, you are in for a shock!
Read on to see — pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.
This man would be only 59 years old
And here I am getting ready to celebrate by 52nd birthday in September.