25 January 2011
25 January 2011
THUS SPAKE LARRY…
0630 by Jeff HessFrom my dad, of course…
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm..
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
19.. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off..
23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
25 January 2011
I’M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS ONE…
0030 by Jeff HessWrite only when you have something to say. David Hare
Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.
Found in my electronic chapbook.
24 January 2011
THE CUTS GO BOTH WAYS, BUT NO SILENCE YET…
2130 by Jeff HessMYANMAR/BURMA — The Democratic Voice of Burma reports that the Irrawaddy Magazine has ceased publishing its print edition and the Irrawaddy Magazine reports that the Democratic Voice of Burma has cut back on its radio and television programs and laid-off employees. In both cases, budget cuts forced by less support from donors are at the center of the both organizations austerity.
Despite headlines to the contrary, neither vital organization is going away.
From the DVB:
Major funding cuts of some $US 300,000 a year have forced leading exiled Burmese news organisation, The Irrawaddy, to cease printing its influential magazine.
The magazine’s informative news and analysis of political and humanitarian affairs was often critical of the Burmese regime, and thus like other independent Burmese media outlets, was banned inside Burma.
Although it was able to generate between six and eight percent of its revenue from subscriptions and commercial funding, editor-in-chief Aung Zaw tells DVB however that the problems were both economic and political.
The main donor agency to cease funding was Denmark’s Danida. Some saw their cessation of funding as policy-driven, in that The Irrawaddy was viewed by some as too belligerent towards the ruling military and the elections in November last year.
And from The Irrawaddy:
A reduction in funding for 2011 has forced the Oslo-based Burmese news agency, Democratic Voice of Burma (DVB), to cut some of its TV and radio programs, and lay off employees.
Aye Chan Naing, the executive director of the DVB, told The Irrawaddy that the exile news agency’s TV entertainment program and its daily morning radio program will be canceled in late February. It will also have to lay out some employees, he added.
“It is impossible to maintain our daily operations on a reduced budget,” he said, adding that it will also reduce staff in Oslo.
DVB was founded in 1992 and has been funded by several international donors, particularly the Norwegian government.
Aye Chan Naing said the DVB had lost 15 percent of its annual budget—down from 23 million Norwegian Krone (US $4 million) to about 20 million Krone.
The DVB, however, will keep running its evening radio broadcast in Burmese language, its 24-hour TV broadcast and its website, said Aye Chan Naing.
“The radio program is essential because people in rural areas of Burma rely on it. It is easy to use and cheaper for them,” he said.
“As we need to rely on donors, we will always face some kind of funding problem. However, we will strive to keep up our output,” he said.
I’m currently working on a piece that asks the question: What does journalism cost?
What do you think?
Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.
24 January 2011
24 January 2011
AND ONE AND TWO AND ONE AND…
0852 by Jeff Hess
I have memories of watching The Jack LaLanne Show with my grandfather when I was in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade.
24 January 2011
WRONG ANSWER…
0630 by Jeff HessFrom my dad, of course…
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and
says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn good.”
24 January 2011
HONEST WORDS, HONEST FICTION…
0030 by Jeff HessThe main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you’re allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it’s definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly, and tell it as best you can. I’m not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter. Neil Gamen
Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.
Found in my electronic chapbook.
23 January 2011
DEMOCRACY, NO…? PRETTY GIRLS, YES…!
2130 by Jeff Hess
MYANMAR/BURMA — There is palpable obscenity here in the pictures from the Automobile Show 2011 now taking place in Yangoon. Yes, models have to make a living too, but we don’t have to think too hard to come up with a short list of people who attend the show, drool over the models and, most importantly, have the kyats to make the purchase.
Meanwhile hundreds of thousands remain devistated from cyclones Nargis and Giri.
Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.
23 January 2011
23 January 2011
23 January 2011
23 January 2011
AGE AND GUILE TRUMPS YOUTH AND BEAUTY…
0630 by Jeff HessFrom my dad, of course…
An older, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his new girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, “No, I’d like to see something more special.”
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said.
The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.”
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, “By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no money in that account.”
“I know,” said the old man, “but let me tell you about my weekend!”
23 January 2011
IF YOU CAN’T, WHO CAN…?
0030 by Jeff HessLaugh at your own jokes. Neil Gamen
Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.
Found in my electronic chapbook.
22 January 2011
PEACEFUL CHANGE IS ABOUT THE CONVERSATION…
2130 by Jeff HessMYANMAR/BURMA — Aung San Suu Kyi speaks with MSNBC. She is one very brave woman, such is the stuff of Nobel Laureates.
MSNBC: After euphoria upon her release, Aung San Suu Kyi who called Gandhi an inspiration is continuing her movement for democracy. In your effort to free your people from oppression you say you are willing to engage in a dialogue with a military regime condemned for ongoing violations of human rights including rape, arbitrary decisions, disappearances and torture. What makes you now willing to negotiate with the regime accused of such crimes?
Suu Kyi: You have to talk to people if you want to bring about peaceful change. Even if you know what they have done is very, very bad.
Can we accept that? Do we have a choice?
What caught your attention the most?
Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.
22 January 2011
22 January 2011
21 January 2011
GONE THINKING…
1730 by Jeff Hess
From 1730 today until 1830 tomorrow, I will be off-line. There will be no new posts during this time, nor will I be checking email. Go for a walk. Have coffee with a friend. Read a book.. Appreciate all that is your family.
21 January 2011
CONSTITUTIONALLY GUARANTEED SEATS…
1729 by Jeff HessMYANMAR/BURMA — Consider for a moment what our own Congress would be like if one seat in four of both the House of Representatives and the Senate were guaranteed by our Constitution for either of our major political parties. The chances of opposition to that constitutionally favored party would be zip to not-a-chance-in-hell.
That is the situation the people of Myanmar find themselves in.
From the BBC:
Under the junta-drafted constitution, the military is allocated 25% of seats in both houses of parliament and the state assemblies.
Most of the 388 officers appointed hold relatively junior ranks.
Military-backed parties won by far the largest number of seats in the November polls, Burma’s first in 20 years.
Opposition groups and Western nations have criticised laws under which the polls were held and condemned the elections a sham.
The official first sitting of parliament in Naypyidaw will mark the implementation of the new constitution and see the transfer of power from the military government to a parliament and president.
Representatives of military-linked parties – many of them former officers who stood down to stand in the polls – are expected the dominate the chambers.
The setting of a quota for the military in parliament has been interpreted by some observers as intended to prevent any surprises. More than 75% approval is required for any constitutional change.
The state-run New Light of Myanmar newspaper reported that 110 military officers had been chosen for the lower house, 56 for the upper house, and 222 for regional and state parliaments.
Has an active duty military officer ever sat in either of the houses of our Congress?
I don’t think so.
Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.
