From 1730 today until 1830 tomorrow, I will be off-line. There will be no new posts during this time, nor will I be checking email. Go for a walk. Have coffee with a friend. Read a book.. Appreciate all that is your family.

MYANMAR/BURMA — In what may be the greatest choreographed bit of legislative theatre ever, fake politicians, elected in a universally condemned faux election will take their seats on Monday in what The Economist rightly calls Myanmar’s Sham Legislature.

It will be, of course, all down hill from there.

In the sprawling new capital of Naypyidaw, Myanmar’s enormous showcase parliament building awaits its first legislators. After a general election in November, the military government hopes that the opening of the bicameral parliament on January 31st, amid suitable pomp, will appear to usher in a new democratic era. Its first job will be to form an electoral college to choose a fresh president and two vice-presidents.

Also awaiting the legislators will be the new laws and rules governing their conduct, published with rather less fanfare on January 11th and running to 17 bound volumes. These give a better guide to what might be expected of the new parliament than any pronouncements by the regime. According to those who have seen the rules, MPs may not, for example, simply ask a question. They first have to submit the question to the director-general of the lower house ten days before a parliamentary session, after which it will be vetted to ensure that it does not reveal state secrets, trouble international relations, or undermine the “interests” of the state. Should the poor, defenceless question survive that mangle, the speaker of the lower house still has the right to reject it, with no appeal.

Members themselves have been warned not to bring “cameras, radios, cassette players, computers, hand phones, and any kinds of voice-transmission or recording devices” into parliament on opening day. And no citizen should even think of turning up to sample the cut and thrust of parliamentary debate. Without the direct permission of the speaker, such an enormity would warrant at least a year in prison or a hefty fine.

Clearly, the last event anyone in power in Myanmar wants is for actual recording of the farce to leak out.

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

I remember feeling hopeful in 1977 and 1978 for the Iranian students’ revolution. While I fear where the revolution may end in Egypt, I hope the United States doesn’t screw it up.

From my dad, of course…

Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:

CAUTION — This Truck is Full of Political Promises.

If nobody will put your play on, put it on yourself. David Hare

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — From the land of doublethink comes Disciplined Democracy.

From The Irrawaddy:

Burma’s Ali Baba and his Family

It is said that Than Shwe believes himself to be a reincarnation of an ancient Burmese monarch. Whether this rumor is true or not, the junta chief has certainly styled himself in that way, for example by having his wife, children and his favorite grandchild take the most important seats at official ceremonies.

In keeping with this status, Than Shwe and his family have amassed enormous wealth. In part he has done this by treating Burma’s revenues from the sale of oil and natural gas as his own personal fortune. By recording these revenues at the official exchange rate (six kyat to the US dollar, in contrast to the real rate of 815 kyat to the dollar), he and his closest loyalists have been able to keep most of the money earned from the sale of Burma’s resources for themselves.

Most of this money has ended up in overseas bank accounts. Than Shwe has even assigned former Lt-Gen Tin Aye, one of his closest military loyalists, to manage these bank accounts. He has also reportedly bought several houses in Beijing and Shanghai with these secret funds.

But the Than Shwe clan’s pilfering of wealth is not limited to stealing from the country. Sources in the Ministry of Defense said that when Than Shwe’s wife, Kyaing Kyaing, and daughters make trips to other parts of the country unaccompanied by the senior general, the wives of regional military commanders have to present them with “diamonds, gold and valuable jewelery” on a tray.

“They take what they like most from the trays and leave the rest. But they never walk away without taking at least 200,000,000 kyat (US$ 245,000) worth of the precious stones and other items,” said a source.

Gawd forbid there should be pushing and shoving in line.

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

I don’t know why yet, but I’ve sent an email. When I know, you’ll know.

Not to worry, Ralph says he’s fine.

View the making of NAME

From my dad, of course…

“Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar,” the Preacher says.

Leroy gets in line, and when it’s his turn, the preacher asks: “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you.”

Leroy replies: “Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.”

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy’s ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy’s head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, “Leroy, how is your hearing now?”

Leroy says, “I don’t know, Reverend, it ain’t till next Wednesday!”

Style is the art of getting yourself out of the way, not putting yourself in it. David Hare

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — Next week Myanmar’s faux parliament will sit for the first time in decades and among its first acts will be to select the faux president. The military favorite is retired General Thura Shwe Man.

From Mizzima:

The military is eligible to nominate a vice president from the appointed military representatives in both houses of Parliament, according to the new constitution, giving Thura Shwe Man an advantage, say observers.

Among the civilian MPs, who are dominated by the Union Solidarity Development Party members of Parliament, the lower house is expected to nominate incumbent Prime Minister Thein Sein for vice president, said another source.

Despite a flurry of recent statements by ethnic parties urging the upper house to nominate an ethnic member of Parliament as vice president, the USDP party is likely to nominate a businessman as vice president, said the source.

However, in local assemblies in states and regions, ethnic MPs are expected to have a better chance to be elected as chief ministers of the local governments or speakers of local assemblies, observers said.

The USDP dominates both houses of Parliament with 59 percent in the lower house and 57 percent in the upper house. Nominees supported by the USDP will likely become the new president and two vice presidents.

As you face more of the same, you must do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

Paul Krugman writes:

Let me also highlight another point from that passage: [Rep. Paul] Ryan warns that if we don’t deal with our fiscal problems, we’ll have to raise taxes and cut benefits for seniors. So what can we do to reduce the deficit? Well, government spending is dominated by the big 5: Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, defense, and interest payments; you can’t make a significant dent in the deficit without either raising taxes or cutting those big 5. Defense is untouchable, says the GOP; so that leaves the entitlement programs. And 2.7 of the three entitlement programs are benefits to seniors (70 percent of Medicaid spending goes on seniors).

So let’s see: to avoid cuts in benefits to seniors, we must … cut benefits to seniors.

I’m reasonably sure that Ryan hasn’t thought any of this through.

And, if I were to read this statement to any Republican who would speak with me, I’m certain the the response would be, I don’t care.

1104: Tell Nancy Pelosi: Lead the fight against the anti-choice agenda

It’s been a busy week in Wally World: the Universe’s source of cheap plastic crap. On The Writing On The Wal — the blog USA Today says should be on its readers’ radar — Jonathan Rees and I continue our work dedicated to drawing back the curtain on the Bentonvile Behemoth’s corporate disinformation and other flackery.

FIRST LADY SWAYS WALMART ON HEALTHY… My initial reaction to the New York Times story this morning that First Lady Michele Obama has convinced Walmart to make changes in not only what foods it sells, but also the price at which it sells those foods is positive. How could it not be? Keep reading…

UPDATE ON WAL-MART FREE D.C. FLYER… Yesterday I posted about a flyer distributed by a group opposing the building of any Walmarts in Washington, D.C. In that piece I copied a comment I had left on the groups webpage. Today it seems the group has decided to not publish my comment. Keep reading…

WALMART CAUSES OUTBREAK OF ODS…? Sarah Palin (and other corporatists) dislikes First Lady Michelle Obama’s Anti Child-Obesity Program. Sarah Palin likes Walmart. What do reactionary’s do when faced with what their ideology informs them ought to mutually exclusive realities? Keep reading…

CAN WALMART REALLY SELL HEALTHY FOOD…? Do not doubt for a moment that if sales decline as a result of Walmarts five-year-plan to sell healthier formulations of its Great Value label, the grand experiment will end and First Lady Michelle Obama will once again be on the outs with folks in Bentonville. Keep reading…

FAST COMPANY ON WALMART V. TARGET… No, this is not a post about litigation between Walmart and Target, and more importantly it is a post that will not mention the topic consuming reporters, bloggers and myself over the past week. This post is about the urban strategies of rural and suburban companies. Keep reading…

2ND BATTLE OF THE WILDERNESS IN COURT… Jonathan first wrote about Walmart’s plans to build adjacent to the northern Virginia land where generals Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant met in the Civil War Battle of the Wilderness back in August 2008. Tomorrow the parties go to court. Keep reading…

WALMART INDUCED ODS SPEADING… Walmart is sleeping with the enemy and, as I predicted last Friday, supporters who have worshiped at the Bentonville retail altar are tearing out their hair as Obama Derangement Syndrome sweeps the country as a result of the betrayal. Keep reading…

AS IN DETROIT, SO TOO IN WASHINGTON… Nearly a year ago we wrote about Walmart’s intentions to use the Detroit School System as a source of cheap labor. As Walmart rolls out its plans to enter Washington, D.C. citizens there fear that their schools are next. Keep reading…

From my dad, of course…

The Philosophy of Ambiguity

For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English:

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

2. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of gawd!

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self-help section?” she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

7. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

9. Is there another word for synonym?

10. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”

11. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

12. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

13. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

14. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

15. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

16. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

17. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

18. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

19. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

20. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

21. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

22. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

23. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

24. How is it possible to have a civil war?

25. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

26. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

27. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

28. Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it?

29. Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids instead of assteroids?

30. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

31. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

32. If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?

Never take advice from anyone with no investment in the outcome. David Hare

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — Nic Dunlop wanted to understand the generals who rule Myanmar but realized that the members of the State Peace and Development Council were as hard to reach and understand directly as a rare tiny rodent hiding in the dense underbrush of the jungle. Dunlop chose instead to see the generals in the shadow they cast through their army.

From the Democratic Voice of Burma:

So I realised what I needed to do was meet former Burmese troops who were willing to talk about why they joined the army, what it was like, what they were taught in training, how they viewed the ethnic minorities and civil war, and so on.

And it was during this research that I was at the [Assistance Association for Political Prisoners] office in Mae Sot and I was introduced by Bo Kyi, the president, to Myo Myint, who was a former political prisoner but who had an extraordinary story to tell: in his previous incarnation he’d been a soldier in the Burmese army and had grown up in a military family in Rangoon, and I found somebody who could explain not only about why people join the military, but could also include the Burmese civil and the quest for democracy in a single story.

Very often one of the problems with the coverage of Burma is that there’s a great separation between the civil war, which runs central to the Burmese crisis, and the issue of democratisation, which is symbolised by Aung San Suu Kyi. I wanted to bring the two together in a single story, and Myo Myint’s story is extraordinary for many reasons, but particularly so because you could do that.

Burma Soldier is the result of that joining.

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.