0656: POT MEET KETTLE…

0624: Constitution-free zone

From my dad, of course…

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.

Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder ‘What horse’s ass came up with this?’, you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses’ asses.) Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined more than two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass.

Fix it. Remember that, sooner or later, before it ever reaches perfection, you will have to let it go and move on and start to write the next thing. Perfection is like chasing the horizon. Keep moving. Neil Gamen

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — Back in October I posted that Aung San Suu Kyi wanted a Twitter account. Her home has now been wired for Internet access and baring interruptions from the State Peace and Development Council’s near constant interference with access in Myanmar, the tweets could be flowing soon.

From Mizzima:

Burmese pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi has received approval to use the Internet at her home, according to sources at the National League for Democracy.

On Thursday, technicians from the state-run Internet service provider, Yatanarpon Teleport, set up an Internet connection at her home on University Avenue Road in Rangoon.

In Burma, Internet connections are controlled by the junta and persons who apply for service must not be involved in politics according to rules set by the junta.

Shortly after her release from house arrest, she told Mizzima in an interview that although she would apply for the Internet permit, she would fill in the form saying that she would participate in politics.

Finding a username will be tough.

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

MYANMAR/BURMA — In my writing about Walmart I have noted several times that unions in China are not the same as unions elsewhere and certainly not the anti-establishment force they are often expected to be. Labor unions in China-Lite Myanmar are not necessarily bad, but I don’t think they’re anything to celebrate over yet.

From Radio Australia:

In a surprising move, the Burmese government is set to table new legislation that could allow workers to establishment trade unions. The proposal has been welcomed by the International Labour Organisation, which says it’s working with the Burmese government to improve workers’ rights in the impoverished nation. But the junta’s moves are also being seen with scepticism.

SAWLANI: It’s been almost 50 years since the Burmese military crushed what was then a vibrant trade union movement. Since then, union activities have been driven beyond the country’s borders, or reduced to underground associations, as successive governments have kept a tight control on workers’ dissent.

But a provision in the Junta’s 2008 constitution has paved the way for legislation that could see the re-emergence of trade unions. Steve Marshall is the International Labour Organisation’s representative in Burma.

MARSHALL: It is obviously extremely significant, the situation has arisen that the constitution that was adopted in 2008 has a provision that makes allowance for the right of persons, particularly workers to be represented, which would lead them to the situation of collective bargaining.

Not bloody likely Mr. Marshall.

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

From Cavana Faithwalker:

Pls HELP & ACT. needs all my FB fam 2take 1sec & go2 Finding Alleyah L. Davis. She is 1of “my kids” & got caught up w/a grown A man, &is now missing. I have to say this, she is HIV positive & 16yrs old. I must disclose that, bcuz it is a HEALTH RISK 2all for her to be on the stroll- PLEASE PRAY, and PLEASE Help look 4 her!!!! Real talk fam….

From the Finding Alleyah L. Davis Facebook page:

MY NAME IS ALLEYAH DAVIS AND I’VE BEEN MISSING FROM HOME SINCE JULY 7, 2010.

My mothers’ name is Barbara, I have a twin sister and other siblings who miss me dearly, more than words can describe.

I live in Cleveland, Ohio, I have cousins in Canton, DC and Florida, as well as lots of family members in my hometown who all wish for me to return home, but I am lost and can’t find my way. If you see me, or hear of my wearabouts, please call the Cleveland Police Department @ 911, or 216-621-1234, Or, call the National Center For Missing And Exploited Children @ 1-800-843-5678.

I have been known to be in the company of a 27 year old adult male who’s name by law I cannot mention, but believe me, he does not have my best interest in mind. In fact, he is really out to destroy my life, I just didn’t know it at the time I met him, but I know now and I want to be free from his control.

My mother has been going crazzzzzzzy trying to rescue me these past 6 months I’ve been gone, and my other family members are worried sick about me too.

I have a church home @ Glenville New Life Community Church located on E. 105th St., but I haven’t seen my Pastors since I left home, and I know they all miss me as well.

My dad Chuckie and step dad Ulysses both miss me and want me to come back home, but like I said, I can’t seem to find my way.
If you see me in the states of Michigan or Florida or any other state where teenage girls are likely to be taken to, pleeeeessssse take me by the hand and lead me to safety!!!!!

Please don’t act as if I don’t matter, because I do, there are a many other someone’s who miss me and they would greatly appreciate your caring enough to help me. Remember, I’m just a kid and this world is far to great for me to handle all alone. I really want to come home.

I called my mom crying last night and told her I want to come home but didnt’ have a way to get there, when she tried to get information on my where-abouts, someone in the place I was at hung up the phone before I could tell her how to get to me. Believe me, she cried all night long!

So today, she created this page in hopes that it would reach the world and that I’d get home safely. This is only one of many things she’s done to help me find my way, so hopefully this will work. But it can only work with your help.

I talked to my brother Travis on Tuesday 1/18/10 when I called home and he told me how much he missed me and offered to come pick me up, but someone in the place that I’m at hung up on my brother before I could tell him where to pick me up from.

PLEEEEEEEASE HELP ME FIND MY WAY BACK HOME TO THE FAMILY THAT I LOVE AND THAT LOVES ME TOO.

Sincerely,

Alleyah London-Davis

The Cleveland Plain Dealer framed it this way: Cuyahoga County Executive Ed FitzGerald has chosen two Democrats to speak for his administration.

Does Fitzgerald suffer from profound shyness? Is the man incapable of answering simple questions? Does the idea of actually having a conversation with the people he now represents fill him with such horror that is forced into seclusion?

Are two spokespersons really worth $168,000 of taxpayers’ money so that Cuyahoga County Executive Ed FitzGerald doesn’t have to speak for himself?

Communications Directors, Public Relations Specialists, Spokespersons; they’re all just flacks, individuals willing to sell a story for a fee. That’s the core. The job of people like Nicole Dailey Jones and John Kohlstrand (whom I remember from these bits back in 2006 and 2009) is not to communicate, their task is not to assist people in ascertaining the truth, hell, their job isn’t even to be honest. Their sole task is to sell the message that their boss wants sold. No. Matter. What.

And oh, provide the boss with some protection by virtue of distance if the story goes south. Gawd forbid the boss ever actually speak.

To quote a wise man: same pants, different pockets.

From Ralph Solonitz:

“They knew and let it continue and then, covered it up! Children lost their innocence, their faith in G-d, and their ability to trust, their sense of safety and security, and their ability to form loving relationships. Many turned to drugs, alcohol and promiscuity to cover up their feelings of guilt and shame. There is no remedy for all that was lost. How can there be?” Words of Susan Greene, Cleveland Ohio

From my dad, of course…

We are in trouble. The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government, leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.

Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. Neil Gamen

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — Ever wonder what a member of Myanmar’s State Peace and Development Council does on an average day?

Physicians for Human Rights, an independent, non-profit organization that uses medical and scientific expertise to investigate human rights violations and advocate for justice, accountability, and the health and dignity of all people gives a look inside with its report: Life Under the Junta: Evidence of Crimes Against Humanity in Burma’s Chin State available.

According to the executive summary:

Several reports have been published on the situation in Eastern Burma, highlighting the widespread and systematic nature of such human rights violations, and underlining the need for an independent, impartial, international investigation into alleged war crimes and crimes against humanity.

By contrast, comparatively little has been written about the situation in Western Burma. Chin State, an isolated, mountainous region in Western Burma, has poor health outcomes and lacks basic infrastructure. There is no network of roads connecting the nine major townships of Chin State; the few roads that exist are unpaved and often impassible in the rainy season. Access to Chin State is problematic from the bordering northeast Indian States of Mizoram and Manipur and the Chittagong Hill Tracts area of Bangladesh, as those areas are designated restricted zones, limiting the possibilities for cross-border humanitarian assistance to Chin State.

While the people of Chin State have not suffered the protracted 60-year conflict of Eastern Burma, rapid militarization in Chin State since 1988 has resulted in widespread human rights violations. Since 1988, estimates place more than 75,000 displaced Chin in India, and another 50,000 in Malaysia. Decades of neglect and widespread abuses have debilitated the Chin who remain in Chin State and rendered them highly food insecure and vulnerable to the current famine.

Qualitative research has shed light on the atrocities committed by successive military regimes over the past five decades. While some quantitative research has been carried out in Eastern Burma, this research represents the first quantitative study on Western Burma to assess the scale and scope of alleged crimes against humanity, defined as the most serious crimes of concern to the international community. These crimes include murder, torture, rape, group persecution, and other inhumane acts, which are committed as part of a widespread or systematic attack against a civilian population.

The full, 65-page report is available as a PDF download.

Are these the people we want to negotiate with?

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

It’s been a busy week in Wally World: the Universe’s source of cheap plastic crap. On The Writing On The Wal — the blog USA Today says should be on its readers’ radar — Jonathan Rees and I continue our work dedicated to drawing back the curtain on the Bentonvile Behemoth’s corporate disinformation and other flackery.

WALMART GOING POSTAL IN NEW YORK CITY… Walmart thinks it can convince New Yorkers that shopping at Walmart will be like shopping on 5th Avenue. Note to Walmart: all Americans are not generic shoppers and what may have worked in the past, can backfire in New York City. Cue Frank Sinatra. Keep reading…

NOW, WASN’T THAT HELPFUL… Get another job, get another job, get another job, unionize, steal stuff, Walmart sucks, Walmart sucks. Those are the seven responses that a self-described Abused Walmart Employee got after posting a long tale of woe asking for help. Keep reading…

PIMPING THE SLUT IN YOUR LITTLE GIRL… Following the tragic murder of JonBenét Patricia Ramsey nearly 15 years ago, some thought that little girls might have a chance again of being little girls, but that never happened and Walmart want to do its best by pimping out little girls with its GeoGirl cosmetics line. Keep reading…

SHAREHOLDERS APPROVE MASSMART BUY… In the 18th century nations created quasi government corporate entities like England’s East India Company to exploit colonial wealth (did you ever ask who that famous Boston tea belonged to?). In 2011 Walmart’s corporate exploitation of Africa has begun. Keep reading…

YIPPEE BUY LOW… YIPPEE SELL HIGH… Olympia Washington’s Citizens Band sings “Wal-Mart” at the Seattle benefit concert for Utah Phillips. Songs played a critical role in organizing workers to stand up for themselves and not accept the drips and drops that trickled down to them. Oh, I do love the Northwest. Keep reading…

BREAK OR BE BROKEN… South Africa’s Congress of South African Trade Unions threatens the mother of all boycotts against Walmart through its newly acquired African retailer Massmart. That may be, but I see an epic battle of labor as the real core of what is happening in Sub-Saharan Africa. Keep reading…

POT MEET KETTLE… Pamela Geller has a point, a flyer with the Walmart Smiley at the center of a target is at best insensitive and worst just plain ignorant. Intelligent people can and must do better. Her words, however, ring as hollow as a corporate CEO’s heart as she writes: Keep reading…

WALMART IS NOT A PERSON… While Walmart appears nowhere in the chapter titled Walmart Is Not A Person of Thom Hartman’s Rebooting The American Dream, the reference is valid because of Walmart’s position as our No. 1 Corporation with arguably the greatest influence. Keep reading…

0930: Protest Foulger Pratt, and Dick Knapp’s Support of Wal-Mart

0843: A Collective Shudder from English Teachers Everywhere

0704: If all the atheists left America…

Ah shit, indeed.

Via Bruce Myers on Facebook.

Yesterday I briefly meet the man who thinks he can contain former public radio host turned Civic Commons Curator of Conversation Dan Moulthrop in a 30-minute radio show. I wish producer Luke Frazier good luck with that. The show debuts this Saturday at 8:30 a.m. on WJCU (88.7 FM)

Here’s what Dan had to say on the CC blog:

I love radio. There’s nothing quite like the intimacy it allows. When it’s done well, it feels like a conversation you’re already a part of. Those of us who have steady radio habits know exactly what I’m referring to. That’s part of why it was so difficult for me to leave my last job at WCPN, and also why I was so excited when Mark Krieger of WJCU (88.7 FM) invited the Civic Commons to take advantage of an 8:30 a.m. slot that is opening Saturday mornings.

So this Saturday morning (1/22) the Civic Commons is taking to the airwaves. Our goal with the radio show is to take a different sort of approach to the issues we’re dealing with every day across Northeast Ohio. Our main goal is to bring your voice to the airwaves as much as possible. We’ll be starting off by using the CC principles as a way to examine what’s happening in the region. For a variety of reasons, we thought we’d start with transparency. That gives us a chance to examine the recent transition to a new form government in Cuyahoga County and some of the stumbles along the way. (If you want a preview, you can hear the entire, unedited interview I did with newly installed council members Julian Rogers and Dave Greenspan.)

No need for me to set any alarms, 8:30 is the middle of the morning for me, but I’ll be looking forward to the show nonetheless.

From my dad, of course…

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

12.. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

I dunno, why do we?

There are lots of errors here. How many can you spot?

Put it aside. Read it pretending you’ve never read it before. Show it to friends whose opinion you respect and who like the kind of thing that this is. Neil Gamen

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.