KILLING MY MADMAN…
0818 by Jeff Hess
The other day, my friend Colette mentioned to me that I was only one of two people she had talked with concerning recent events in her life that did not become angry. We both attributed this to a lack of personal perspective on my part. And, while I won’t discount that short-coming, I would also like to think it has no little relationship to the meditation practice I’ve followed now for nearly one-third of a century.
As I was thinking about this I recalled an article I’d read in the March issue of Arthur. In Killing The Madman, – subtitled What does meditation have to do with activism? – poet Michael Brownstein writes:
In Tibetan Buddhism there’s something called idiot compassion which says that you must never allow your compassion to make you a victim. It says that even if you would never harm a flea, when your survival requires it – when a madman is coming toward you with a knife in his hand – you have no hesitation in killing. You can do this without generating negative consequences as long as you’re unattached to the emotion called forth, as long as you don’t invest it with qualities of right or wrong. Killing the madman then simply becomes what has to be done.
That’s when the warrior quality within you arises. Once you’ve liberated yourself from reactivity, once you’re able to separate yourself from your emotions and watch them come and go like clouds in the sky, you discover your fearlessness.
When I was in the Navy I spent a brief time in Japan and became fascinated by Bushido, the Samurai Way of the Warrior. A small part of this Way arises from this 14th century warrior’s creed:
I have no parents – I make the heavens and the earth my parents.
I have no home – I make awareness my home.
I have no life or death – I make the tides of my breathing my life and death.
I have no divine power – I make honesty my divine power.
I have no means – I make understanding my means.
I have no magic secrets – I make character my magic secret.
I have no body – I make endurance my body.
I have no eyes – I make the flash of lightning my eyes.
I have no ears – I make sensibility my ears.
I have no limbs – I make promptness my limbs.
I have no strategy – I make “unshadowed by thought” my strategy.
I have no designs – I make “seizing opportunity by the forelock” my design.
I have no miracles – I make right action my miracles.
I have no principles – I make adaptability to all circumstances my principles.
I have no tactics – I make emptiness and fullness my tactics.
I have no talents – I make ready wit my talent.
I have no friends – I make my mind my friend.
I have no lovers – I make stillness my lover.
I have no enemy – I make carelessness my enemy.
I have no armor – I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.
I have no castle – I make immovable mind my castle.
I have no sword – I make absence of self my sword.
When I read Takashi Matsuoka’s Cloud of Sparrows, I copied two lines into my electronic chapbook. The first is a 1344 quote from Suzume-No-Kumo:
When attacking, await the right moment. When waiting be poised like a boulder on the edge of a ten-thousand-foot precipice. When the right moment manifests itself, vanish into the attack like a boulder plummeting into the void.
The second comes a few pages later in the story:
Banzai! (literally ten thousand years!) is an expression of deepest sincerity, deepest commitment. The speaker is expressing his willingness to trade eternity for this single moment.
My goal is to have a life full of such moments.
My Soundtrack:

In My Backpack… 

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