Being the good neighbor blogger that I am, I thought I’d stop over at the new bought-and-paid-for pro-Wal Mart blog being written by Mike Krempasky* and say hello. I read Mikes five posts and left this message: Shalom Mike, Welcome to the conversation. B’shalom, Jeff Hess. I hit send, and then this message popped up:

It would appear that you are have been identified as a nasty comment spammer by Spam Karma and, as such, your comment has been deleted.

If you are only an innocent bystander in the War on Spam, please accept our apologies. The author of this blog will receive a digest containing your comment as well as the reasons why it was deleted. Try contacting him via email (there are many possible reasons: a very common one being the use of a proxy to access this blog).

Note: unless you know exactly why your comment has been deleted (contained a spam URL etc), do NOT try to repost your comment again. It would only result in your IP and website being banned permanently.
Check out: Spam Karma’s Homepage for more information on this spam filter…

Bad Karma, man, bad karma…

Hmmmm, I said to myself. Has my nasty hate-filled and racist speech practices preceded me? Could Mike have set the firewall high fearing the barbarians at the gate? Could this be what Mike meant when he wrote:

My work largely focuses on helping companies appropriately shift conversations online, to not only build a better image — but to actually be better online citizens.

I might assume that this is all an innocent case, a simple misunderstanding. Then I remembered Mike’s unbraiding of clueless blog consultants.

If I find one more self-styled and lauded blog consultant who can”t keep the porn trackbacks off their own site (or, failing that — at least remove the nice shiny “recent trackbacks” sidebar), I”m going to start naming names.

If you”re in the business of advising companies about joining the online conversation, you have to be able to demonstrate at least a little bit of sensitivity and understanding about what actually happens on the web.

Surely someone who would grab the blogging high ground in such confident manner wouldn’t inadvertently block a harmless blogger such as myself before I’ve even had a chance to introduce myself. Would he?

*Of RatherGate fame. Oooo… Big guns.

My Soundtrack: Introduction and Rondo by Leila Josefowicz from Violin For Anne Rice.

Last December 8th, Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) slipped Section 111 of Title I, Division J, of the Fiscal Year 2005 Consolidated Appropriations Act (Pub. L. 108-447) and a new national holiday into our collective consciousness: Constitution Day. Our Constitution is the single most important document in Human History; read it all.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Please keep reading…

There are a large number of additional resources. Here are just a few:

The U.S. Constitution.
Celebrate Constitution Day.
Celebrate Constitution And Citizenship Day.
A Day Set Aside for the Constitution.

My Soundtrack: Go Figure by The Race on WOXY.

From James Randi: Sony Pictures has been fluffing up their own latest assault on reason, a film named The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It”s said that the film is based on a true story, as the former one also claimed; we all know how loose such a base can be. The fictional Emily Rose was, in real life, Anneliese Michel, a Bavarian. She was born September 21…

From Anderw Sullivan: As a friend of mine commented last night over a drink, I don’t hate this president and never have. I’m just sick of him. Sick of the naked politicization of everything (Karl Rove over-seeing reconstruction?); sick of the utter refusal to acknowledge that there is a limit to what the federal government can borrow from this and the next…

Is there no political opportunity too shameful for President George Bush to say, No. It wouldn’t be right? I thought the photo ops on the levee and with the fire fighters were bad enough. But last night President Bush outdid himself in the Warehouse District of New Orleans. What did he do? Read on, with a hat-tip to the Democracy Guy:

I am duty-bound to report the talk of the New Orleans warehouse district last night: there was rejoicing (well, there would have been without the curfew, but the few people I saw on the streets were excited) when the power came back on for blocks on end.

Kevin Tibbles was positively jubilant on the live update edition of Nightly News that we fed to the West Coast. The mini-mart, long ago cleaned out by looters, was nonetheless bathed in light, including the empty, roped-off gas pumps. The motorcade route through the district was partially lit no more than 30 minutes before POTUS drove through.

And yet last night, no more than an hour after the President departed, the lights went out. The entire area was plunged into total darkness again, to audible groans. It’s enough to make some of the folks here who witnessed it… jump to certain conclusions.

That is the act of a scoundral. Southerners have a very specific reaction to the phrase Reconstruction. I expect them to start thinking along those lines again, real soon.

My Soundtrack: Throwback by Life In Bed on WOXY.

From The Washington Post: A new study concludes that rising sea temperatures have been accompanied by a significant global increase in the most destructive hurricanes, adding fuel to an international debate over whether global warming contributed to the devastation wrought by Hurricane Katrina. The study, published today in the journal Science…

I’ve been abducted by aliens. That’s the only explanation I can think of. I went to bed last night a happy 25-year-old freshman at Ohio University in Athens, and woke up this morning, apparently 25 years, later in Cleveland. What happened to those 25 years? I’m too young to be 50! Can’t all those powerful liberals in Washington do something.

I thought to write something special for my 50th birthday. Something along the lines of this Dave Berry list, but those who know me know that I’m not big on anniversaries. I’m more focused on those days where I wake up. I figure that if I open my eyes in the morning, it’s all gravy after that. My personal philosophy was succinctly captured some 400 years ago by William Shakespeare.

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.

At first the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms. And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel and shining morning face, creeping like snail unwillingly to school. And then the lover, sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad made to his mistress’ eyebrow.

Then a soldier, full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice, in fair round belly with good capon lined, with eyes severe and beard of formal cut, full of wise saws and modern instances; and so he plays his part.

The sixth age shifts into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side, his youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide for his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his sound.

Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

From: As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII.

On the lighter side, I also received two posts from my just-turned 76-year-old father, starting with:

Senior Humor:

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked No Refills.”
——————————————-
An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

“Yes, Dad, what is it?”

“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife….”
——————————————-
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for
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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
——————————————-
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
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I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
——————————————-
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
——————————————-
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.
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If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.
——————————————-
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.
——————————————-
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf
——————————————-
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, “You were always so organized in school, Did you manage to live a well planned life?”

“Yes,” said her friend. “My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”

Her friend asked, “What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?”

“One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

And now, on with the show…

My Soundtrack: Soul Food by Martina Topley-Bird on WOXY.

Bush Flash picks up my myth-spinning of the 600 buses and adds his own two-cents: The Bush bowl tried to cover their ass, in this regard, by casting off Brown– that didn’t work, so, now, Jesus Jr has decided to accept responsibility for failure of the federal government. So, Again, let’s stop the blame the victims game, shall we, you few remaining freeper lurkers?

Via One Good Move, it’s Jon Stewart back from vacation and
hitting the ground running.

From Andrew Sullivan: Tonight, the president will try and rescue himself politically by spending money he doesn’t have. As Margaret Thatcher once remarked, the only thing socialists are good at is spending other people’s money. That’s the one thing this president has known how to do — whether it was daddy’s money or yours. What? Me Worry?

From The Washington Post: President Bush will call tonight for an unprecedented federal commitment to rebuild New Orleans and other areas obliterated by Hurricane Katrina, putting the United States on pace to spend more in the next year on the storm’s aftermath than it has over three years on the Iraq war… Now, about all the pork and tax cuts…

I’ve never bought a car with more than four cylinders. I’ve coveted big V8’s with the horsepower to throw you back in the seat when you stomp on it, but owning one would be to big of a sell out for me. I remember gas lines and Marlon Brando telling George C. Scott in The Formula: Ah, Arthur, you’re missing the point: We are the Arabs.

[Update — 0615, 15 September — The Washington Post adds its voice: The Senate voted along party lines yesterday to reject creation of an independent panel to investigate the government’s fumbling response to Hurricane Katrina.]

From the Associated Press: Senate Republicans on Wednesday scuttled an attempt by Sen. Hillary Clinton to establish an independent, bipartisan panel patterned after the 9/11 Commission to investigate what went wrong with federal, state and local governments’ response to Hurricane Katrina. Nothing here, move along folks. Like hell!

We all have songs that help to define us. Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Sweet Home Alabama is one of those for me. In 1974 I was a freshman at Colorado State University struggling to figure out this thing called me, when a family band from the Deep South helped put it all together. The Atlanta Journal Constitution puts the song at No. 14 on it’s list.

When a man’s got to go, a man’s got to go. And that includes the President of the United States. I don’t think that means anything at all, but I do find it amusing that the media — and I’m sure not a few bloggers — have picked up this photo. This sort of trivia distracts us from the vital issue of removing incompetent leadership from the White House.

One of my favorite Science Fiction series from the ’70s was Fred Saberhagen’s Berserker stories. Berserkers are the literary precursors of the the Cylons and the Borg, crushing all opposition in their path. What makes them such terrifying adversaries is their infinite abilty to morph and adapt as the playing field changes.

That’s how I see Wal Mart.

From The Michigan Land Use Institute: One of the strongest signals yet of how fundamental the shift in big-box only retail doctrine may be came at the International Council of Shopping Centers last December. Robert Stoker, senior real estate manager for Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., declared, We’ve reached a stage where we can be flexible. We no longer have to build a gray-blue battleship box.

Mr. Stoker cited several examples of the world”s largest retailer bending its once-rigid design formula to fit into existing neighborhoods, new mixed use developments, and even a high-rise. For the retail development world, it was as though the pope had changed the words in the Lord”s Prayer.

From Newport, Ohio: News that a Wal-Mart might open in the city has hit Monmouth Street with a thud.

Small-business owners are concerned that the retailing giant will cripple, if not crush, their stores if one of its supercenters opens in a development planned on the Cole Brillante neighborhood site.

City officials have said Wal-Mart is among the potential tenants for the project, which is planned along Grand Avenue and adjacent to Interstate 471.

We don’t want them, said Diane Gearding, who has operated her Fantasy In Frosting cake decorating business on Monmouth Street for 27 years.

They will ruin our businesses down here, Gearding said Tuesday. They cut their prices so much we can’t afford to compete.

According to its Web site, Wal-Mart sells wedding cakes at its supercenters.

From Hadley, Massachusetts: A Wal-Mart Supercenter may soon be coming to Hadley, and some residents are not happy about it.

Hadley Neighbors for Sensible Development, a group of residents who fight “to preserve Hadley’s rural beauty,” is protesting the proposed Wal-Mart expansion. The group says that a Supercenter would hurt the environment, bringing more air pollution with the expected traffic increases. The new development would also contribute greatly to urban sprawl in the Hadley area.

This story I nearly a year-and-a-half old, but the irony is too precious to pass up.

From the St. Louis Business Journal: Sam’s Club, a division of Bentonville, Ark.-based Wal-Mart Stores Inc., plans to begin offering group health insurance to small businesses in Missouri, Illinois and eight other states.

[snip]

Providing insurance is one of the biggest challenges when competing for quality employees and improving retention, states Cara Kinzey, vice president of membership for Sam’s Club, in a statement. As the purchasing agent for small businesses nationwide, Sam’s Club continues to add services that benefit small business owners and enable them to improve their business efficiencies.

Huh?

Also see: News Target.

My Soundtrack: Some Like It Hot by Robert Palmer from Live At The Apollo.

For the past three days I’ve been making the drive down Superior and St. Clair avenues to the community computer center set up in the Cleveland Convention Center by Bill Callahan and others to help refugees from Hurrican Katrina. What we did mostly was to help people with the FEMA registration process. Bill’s post on the center is great.

Google now has the beta version of it’s blog search engine up. I ran two searches this morning. First for havecoffeewillwrite. I got 611 hits and I have more than 1,000 posts. Second I ran my name “Jeff Hess.” I got 423 hits and I was 322 hits in before I found one that didn’t reference Have Coffee Will Write. There’s still a few bugs.

[Update — 1905, 14 September, with thanks to Jill, here’s a review of Google’s blog search.]

From Knight-Ridder: The federal official with the power to mobilize a massive federal response to Hurricane Katrina was Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, not the former FEMA chief who was relieved of his duties and resigned earlier this week, federal documents reviewed by Knight Ridder show. Should Chertoff be the next to fall on his sword?

One of the lies, i.e. talking points, that continues to circulate is that President George Bush couldn’t act sooner to help Hurricane Katrina victims because his hands were tied (figuratively, of course) by Louisiana Governor Kathleen Babineaux Blanco”s failure to ask for his help. That’s a damned lie. Read the report.