Jewish mothers and Jewish women in general are the brunt of a lot of jokes. But they’re also the source of much that has changed in this country during my lifetime. Jewish Women The Feminist Revolution tracks those changes and the brave women who brought them about. As we learned yesterday in South Dakota, the battle is far from over.
OK. This is not associated in any way, shape or form with the Cleveland Jewish News. I don’t represent it and no one affiliated with it has asked me to do this. I’m just curious. A reader has commented on how expensive it would be to make the paper’s website something to visit on a regular basis. Would it really cost that much?
You experts tell me. Take a look and tell me what you would charge to drag it into the 21st century.
My Soundtrack: Dress Me Like A Clown by Margot & The Nuclear So & So’s on WOXY.
On Friday I patted the Cleveland Jewish News on the back for adding comments to its two blogs from Israel. I left comments on both blogs. Here it is Tuesday morning, more than three days later, and neither comment has shown up. In fact, no comments have shown up at all. Moderating comments is acceptable, but three days?
Interestingly enough, the CJN did print my email note to them with the following aside:
* Editor”s note: CJN readers can respond to the blogs on our website http://www.Clevelandjewishnews.com. Look for Blogs on the lefthand toolbar.
Uh. Not really Cindy. I look forward to the bugs getting worked out of the comments system.
Publications routinely have to edit letters to the editor for space, but there’s no need for that online. Here’s a copy of the letter I sent to the CJN.
Shalom Cindy,
Congratulations on the launch of the blogs for Cliff Savren and Marcy Oster.
Comments are the single most element of any blog. It is significant that of the top 20 liberal blogs, 18 engage in a real conversation with their readers through comments. Of the top 20 conservative blogs, none allow comments.
There is always a risk of offensive comments, of course, but then public discourse is messy.
How much better would it to allow your readers to have free and unlimited opportunity to express their opinions?
I would have liked to have congratulated Savren and Oster on their launch, but I can”t even find an email address for them on your masthead.
Bloggers blog best when the don”t do so in a vacuum.
Here”s to looking forward to greater transparency and conversation.
B”shalom,
Jeff Hess
hess@havecoffeewillwrite.com
http://www.havecoffeewillwrite.com
Take a look at the version the CJN printed.
The differences are minor, to be sure, but there was no need for any difference. Space was not a factor on the CJN website.
And Cindy, netiquette suggests that when bloggers communicate with you, that you at least include the originating blog’s URL (Universal Resource Locator) with the email. In my case that would have been: http://www.havecoffeewillwrite.com
My Soundtrack: Playing In The Distance by Grand National on WOXY.
…that this Saturday, 11 March, there will be a community meeting at the Archwood United Christ Church at 2800 Archwood Avenue to discuss the Fulton Bridge Project. The meeting begins at 2:30 p.m. The Brooklyn Centre Community Association, Councilman Brian Cummins and the Save Our Land coalition are the sponsors.
I’ve never tried Origami except for a obsession with paper airplanes when I was 12 or so, but I find the art form amazing. This Nazgul is from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Fourth Annual juried Student Origami Competition. Anybody can build a Rebel Attack Cruiser from Legos. All of the entries are wonderful
Just as it was last week, the name of the publication is irrelevant because the message is still universal. This dead-tree media of the moment not only has a space problem with readers’ comments, it wants to own forever and in every conceivable medium the rights to reprint any comments that it does choose to print or not print.
Here’s what the disclaimer, in two parts of my choosing, says:
By submitting your letter to the editor you agree that the [insert name of appropriate dead-tree media here] may edit, reproduce publish and distribute it…
OK, I’ll accept that part. When you have a limited resource, you have to ration it out. But this next part makes me want to unleash the flying monkeys.
…and include it in any anthologies or collections of materials, such as books, booklets, data bases, websites and future or special issues of any [insert name of appropriate dead-tree media here] publication, all without monetary compensation.
And we think those MicroSoft user agreements are Draconian. No. I don’t give you that permission. When I send you a letter to the editor I’m granting you First North American Serial Rights and, if you have such a thing, the right to publish my letter simultaneously on your website to correspond with the dead-tree-version’s publication. That’s it.
The shear arrogance of publications that deceive themselves in thinking that they control some kind of rare commodity twists my skivvies into a bunch. Publishers no longer own or control the conversation. They are an important part of it, but they are no longer the gatekeepers they’ve been pretending they are.
They are swimming in the pool now and no longer sitting perched on the life guard’s stand.
Well a spokesperson for the Federal Emergency Management Agency didn’t quite put it that way, but the message was there when FEMA had Geroge Barisich arrested for giving away a t-shirt that said: Flooded by Katrina! Forgotten by FEMA! What’s Next, Mr. Bush? The spokesman’s response was what I would expect.
Just for those of us who might have forgotten that pesky little amendment to our Constitution, here what the 1st Amenedment has to say, (emphasis mine, JH):
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
So, with that reminder on the table, here’s what Homeland Security spokesperson Dean Boyd had to say:
If we ignored this violation, you could have potentially 20 to 30 people standing out in front of the (FEMA) center, obstructing things. We’ve got a duty and a job under the law.
Personally, I think maybe 200 to 300 American citizens exercising their constitutional right to peaceably assemble in front of the FEMA center would be a very good thing.
My Soundtrack: Mind’s Eye by Wolfmother on WOXY.
…but not in time for the 2006 elections. Citing the usual unnamed sources, two British papers report this morning that the United States and Great Britain intend to withdraw all of their troops in less than a year, most likely sometime after the first of the year. The reason: the presence of troops is now seen as the major obstacle to peace.
Do you think anyone in the adminstration is likely to call U.S. Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.)? Me either.
From the Sunday Telegraph:
According to a senior defence source directly involved in planning the withdrawal, Britain is the driving force behind the scheme. The early spring of next year has been identified as the optimum time for the start of the complex and dangerous operation.
The source explained that troop numbers were expected to decrease slightly over the next 12 months but that the bulk of British and American forces, who make up 138,000 of the coalition’s 153,000 troops, would be withdrawn simultaneously.
The U.S. was quick to issue a blanket denial of the British newspaper reports, saying that:
This news report on a withdrawal of forces within a set timeframe is completely false, Lieutenant Colonel Barry Johnson said of the stories in Britain”s Sunday Telegraph and Sunday Mirror, which quoted unnamed senior defense ministry sources.
As we”ve said over and over again, any withdrawal will be linked to the ability of the Iraqi security forces to maintain domestic order on behalf of a representative Iraqi government that respects the rights of all its citizens. This is an ongoing assessment and not linked to any timeframe, he said.
So, the troops might be home in time to help the Republicans in the 2008 elections, but not the 2006 elections. It must be great to be a Republican member of Congress and know how much our president cares about you.
My Soundtrack: Between Days by Red House Painters on WOXY.
I can so see this one coming down. The part that rings the most true with me, of course, is the Bubba angle. But then I confess I’m more than a little prejudice. Everyone of us wishes that when our one chance presents itself that we are quick witted enough to take advantage of it. I know I always did.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out Business trip or pleasure?
She turned, smiled and said, Business, I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago.
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, What’s your business role at the convention?
Lecture, she responded. I am the lead lecturer. I use information that I have learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.
Really, he said, and what kinds of myths are there?
Well, she explained, one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent that are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with the absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck.
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. I’m sorry, she said, I shouldn’t really be discussing all this with you. I don’t even know your name.
Tonto, the man said, Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.
Will your wits be as sharp?
In any investigative matter the three most important rules are: follow the money, follow the money and follow the money. Karl Marx was wrong about a lot of thnigs, but the one thing he got absolutely right was that it all always boils down to economics. That’s what The New Republic’s John Judis when he linked the port deal to Boeing.
…there’s another possibility: Rescinding the deal could offend a country that has been a very important customer for American exports.
In November, Dubai’s government airline, Emirates, agreed to purchase 42 Boeing 777s for $9.7 billion, with an option for 20 more planes. That is one of the largest purchases of commercial aircraft ever, and it may have been the most important foreign sale made by an American company last year.
Now, $9.7 billion might not seem like serious money anymore, hell we piss that much away in less than a day in Iraq, but when it comes to keeping our only airline manufacturer afloat, it can be a pretty big deal.
Why do I bother thinking about politics, it’s all just who’s paying whom.
My Soundtrack: No, Not Now by Hot Hot Heat on WOXY.
One of Coventry’s treasures is Suzanne at Mac’s Backs. The shop is everything a book store should be and much much more. It’s the only place I do my holiday shopping. In addition to books and magazines, there is a regular rotation of fascinating people.
It’s the place where I recorded the Sherry And Ernie Roadshow, and every month there are new events.
Which events are you interested in?
My Soundtrack: Speak To Me Bones by Land Of Talk on WOXY.
I have friends who teach English as a second language and I am in awe of anyone who manages to figure out our language. Us native speakers take this all for granted, but how in the world can anyone (Shamash?) sit down with a straight face and tell students that this is the method of communication in the most powerful nation in the world?
Is it any wonder we have so many dyslexics?
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let’s face it — English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. – Why doesn’t “Buick” rhyme with “quick?”
Thanks Mona.
My Soundtrack: Raising The Sparks by Akron/Family on WOXY.
Via Slate comes this little item from the Wall Street Journal’s Washington Wire. If this wasn’t our Department Of Homeland Security, I’d log this under humor, but these are the folks we’re depending upon to help keep our families safe. If this spokeswoman is telling the truth, then some heads should roll.
But it’s more likely that whoever is responsible will get an atta boy from our president.
Among other woes at Homeland Security, the inspector general’s office says it can’t widely distribute electronic announcements of new watchdog reports. A spokeswoman explains the department lacks capacity to create a mass email list, and We don’t have a fix at this point.
So, the department lacks the capacity of every feckin’ spammer on the globe?
My Soundtrack: Right In Time by Lucinda Williams on WOXY.
My readers have rightly been nudging me about this contest. There are a lot of great ones in here so I’m posting them all and asking for people to vote for a second runner up, a first runner up and a winner. Please cast your vote by number in the comment’s section and I’ll announce the three winners next week.
1. 40th Amendment repeals 13th Amendment
2. Browns Stripped of Super Bowl LXIII Title for Using Liberal Player
3. Enemy of Freedom Kucinich Dies at 83
4. Evangelical Governor who Shot Abortion Doctors amidst Underage, Homosexual, Money Laundering, Hiring Scandal being Vilified by Media
5. From the beaches of Utah – President declares global warming equals false alarm of Y2K
6. Governor-for-Life Blackwell Outlaws Books, Libraries
7. High Court Bans Teaching of Evolution at Public Schools
8. Jim Crow Laws: The Sequel Deemed Constitutional
9. Last Newspaper Rolls Off the Press, Little Old Ladies Express Concern: What Will We Use to Line Kitty Litter Boxes?
10. Massachusetts Statehood Revoked
11. Osama Bin Laden Surrounded by US Troops in Tora Bora Mountains, Flees in Electric Wheelchair, His Seeing Eye Dog Leading the Way
12. Poll finds 95% of US Population considers themselves ‘Oppressed Christian minority”
14. President Alito Signs Dissent Mitigation Act of 2029
15. President Decides International Laws Banning Torture Don”t Apply to Him (oh, wait, that is now)
16. Scientists Declare Women To Be Human Beings.
17. President Joel Osteen brings 200 concubines to moon base for God”s Chosen breeding program: Pacific Ocean breaches Rockies.
18. Republicans Feeling the Heat: Thawing of Karl Rove”s Body Likely to Run Campaign Against Satan
19. Wal Mart Declares Bankruptcy: Toothpaste Buycott Breaks Bentonville Behemoth
You are all a creative bunch and winners in my book.
My Soundtrack: Sax And Violins by Talking Heads on WOXY.
The Discovery Institute (a misnomer if I ever heard one) reveals its true colors by expanding its attacks on science beyond biology to astronomy and cosmology. Phil Lait tells the story of how a man without a college degree was appointed to an important science post at NASA. I’ve added Phil’s Bad Astronomy Blog to my own blogroll.
Put an orange wig on my head and call me a clown. The Cleveland Jewish News added comments to its blogs from Cliff Savren and Marcy Oster. I left welcome messagess on each and the system says they’ve been posted. They haven’t shown up yet suggesting they are moderated and that’s fine; it beats the hell out of the Pee Dee.
A group of film students decided to make a point about speed limits and our nation’s highways. Reminiscent of the trucker rolling roadblocks of the ’70s, they got four cars together and drove down the highway at 55 mph. The results were just what they expected. And they’re probably very lucky that some road-rage candidate didn’t pull a gun.
Jeff Jarvis, blogging from the Online Publishers Association meeting in London tells us that Tom Glocer, CEO of Reuters, get’s it. What is it? It is that there is revolution of Gutenbergian proportions, as Glocer said in his keynote address, going on. The reader is now both author and editor and media orgainzations need to deal with that.
Accordign to Jarvis, Glocer said of readers:
They”re consuming, they”re creating, they”re sharing, and they”re publishing themselves. So the consumer wants to not only run the printing preess, the consumer wants to set the Linotype as well….
Our industry is facing a profound challenge from home-created content…. If we create the right crossroads, provide the consumers with the appropriate tools… we can harnass what otherwise from the outside would look like a punk revolution….
I don’t think you can harness it. But you can at least find ways to make your ride smoother.
My Soundtrack: Telescope Eyes by Eisley on WOXY.
The wonderfully creative Professor Pollkatz has come up with what might be the perfect metaphor for President George Bush’s poll numbers: the swirly. President Bush is only five points away from President Jimmy Carters low of 29 percent and closing rapidly on President Richard Nixon’s record low of 25 percent. Can’t you just hear the ka’woosh?
When I was in high school I took two years of Spanish. I hated it. I’m just not wired for languages. My best friend was a whiz at it and he saved my butt more than once. We used to torture the language for fun. Once while listening to us my dad quipped. Do you know what is Spanish for semi? El Riggo. Some of these are nearly as good.
The following were winners in a New York Magazine contest in which contestants were to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression.
HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS? — Can you drive a French motorcycle?
EX POST FUCTO — Lost in the mail
IDIOS AMIGOS — We’re wild and crazy guys!
VENI, VIPI, VICI — I came, I’m a very important person, I conquered.
COGITO EGGO SUM — I think; therefore I am a waffle.
RIGOR MORRIS — The cat is dead.
RESPONDEZ S’IL VOUS PLAID — Honk if you’re Scottish.
QUE SERA SERF — Life is feudal.
LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI — The king is dead. No kidding.
POSH MORTEM — Death styles of the rich and famous
PRO BOZO PUBLICO — Support your local clown.
MONAGE A TROIS — I am three years old.
FELIX NAVIDAD — Our cat has a boat.
HASTE CUISINE — Fast French food
VENI, VIDI, VICE — I came, I saw, I partied.
QUIP PRO QUO — A fast retort
ALOHA OY — Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know.
MAZEL TON — tons of luck
APRES MOE LE DELUGE — Larry and Curly got wet.
PORTE-KOCHERE — Sacramental wine
ICH LIEBE RICH — I’m really crazy about having dough.
FUI GENERIS — What’s mine is mine.
VISA LA FRANCE — Don’t leave your chateau without it.
CA VA SANS DIRT — And that’s not gossip.
MERCI RIEN — Thanks for nothin’!
AMICUS PURIAE — Platonic friend
L’ETAT, C’EST MOO — I’m bossy around here.
Last year, Whatever It Was, I Was Against It collected many old New York Magazine contests and may very well be the genesis of the email my Dad sent me.
I can’t find a link to the orginal contest in New York Magazine.
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