I’m vocal about my understanding that we are in control of our lives; that there is Free Will. I have no more reason to belive such a thing exists than Pat Robertson does to believe in god. Yet I do have faith in my own power to choose because I must. If I cannot choose, if B.F. Skinner is right, then what’s the point?

From this morning’s New York Times:

“Is it an illusion? That”s the question,” said Michael Silberstein, a science philosopher at Elizabethtown College in Maryland. Another question, he added, is whether talking about this in public will fan the culture wars.

“The more you scrutinize it, the more you realize you don”t have it,” he said.

OK. So I’m delusional, but I won’t accept that I’m wetware.

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Labyrinths: Walking Toward The Center by Gernot Candolini.

…it helps to remember that myths and fairy tales describe not external realities, but rather internal ones. p. 114

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

It was The Diet After Christmas

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Labyrinths: Walking Toward The Center by Gernot Candolini.

It”s as if I”m contemplating the violation of a holy space, an unspoken rule: you can only go to the center if you”re also taking the whole journey. To simply go heedlessly through it would be barbaric. [Is this a metaphor for education, for the difference between extrinsic (goal orientated) and intrinsic (journey orientated) thinking?] p. 48

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Labyrinths: Walking Toward The Center by Gernot Candolini.

On a path two great crises await you. The first comes when the magic of the beginning has vanished. The second comes just before the goal. Both ask the question: do you really want this? p. 47

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Labyrinths: Walking Toward The Center by Gernot Candolini.

His idée fixe… [An idea that dominates one’s mind especially for a prolonged period: obsession. Merriam Webster”s 10th, 1836.] p. 41

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Labyrinths: Walking Toward The Center by Gernot Candolini.

When you expect the extraordinary to happen, it never does. It can only come unexpectedly, as a gift. Maybe I”ll get another chance somewhere else. p. 46

From Rob: Most missions I didn’t look forward to, because more than likely my teammate and I would be bored to death, watching the neverending nothing. Boredom — the worse punishment, and a passive form of torture, as far as I was concerned. But this mission I loved, the moment I heard of it. The infantry company responsible for the city was having…

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

Now this message for America’s most famous athletes: Someday you may be invited to fly in the backseat of one of your country’s most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have — John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity….

I should’ve known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach. Whatever you’re thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He’s about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger-crippling handshake — the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast.

Read the rest, but make sure you’re not drinking or eating anything while you do.

One of the few experience I missed in the Navy (and I came this close) was getting catepulted off of an aircraft carrier. I don’t care what Reilly says. I’d still do it today in heart beat.

This thought is as a death, which cannot choose
But weep to have that which it fears to lose.

From 64 by William Shakespeare.

Or, as Johnny Cash, channeling Trent Reznor, sang:

everyone I know
goes away in the end.

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Labyrinths: Walking Toward The Center by Gernot Candolini.

A numerical labyrinth. A square is divided into twenty-five little boxes; all except the center box are inscribed with a number between one and four. to add to the challenge each number is also marked as a positive or negative number.

2 2 4 1 3
3 3 1 3 2
1 2 0 2 3
3 2 3 2 4
4 2 1 3 2

p. 39

From A Nurse: I have tried to write this post for days now and haven’t been able to even start it. I guess it’s partly because of what I need to say. I have decided to take a leave of absence from my job; my last day will be Friday. I will be working for a temp service for nurses, providing additional staffing at area hospitals in various units. It will be a change, and one I hope will help. As the week has gone on, I find memories of patients and their families coming to mind, and I wanted to share one in particular.

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Labyrinths: Walking Toward The Center by Gernot Candolini.

The path at Chartres [A rush to near the center followed by a spiraling to the outer limit before curving back to the center] reminds us of the course of a love affair. When you first fall in love as a young couple, you must find your way toward the center quickly and easily.

In the end, the labyrinth of Chartres strikes us as the more comforting pattern. Just when you you”ve strayed hopelessly far from the goal, it’s actually getting closer and closer. You need to persevere. It’s an unfamiliar thought, though one that proves often true: many who have gotten close have found there”s a long way to go, while not all those who have ranged afar are truly far from their goal. p. 25

When I shared a house with three other college students back in 1982, we had a crass and childish ritual we’d perform anytime one of use didn’t come home at night. The wayward housemate would be greeted by a tall glass of water with a wooden chopstick stuck in it sitting on the kitchen table. Barney, Ed and Roy, this one’s for you guys.

From Slate, Euphemisms For Sex:

There is quite probably no topic better suited to euphemism than, as it were, “playing cars and garages.”

But last month, when we threw the challenge out to our readers to find the best euphemism for sex, they responded with some remarkably funny and apropos turns of phrase, many drawn from their own lives. You can hear the story behind terms like “waxing the giraffe,” and find out what euphemism was judged the very best by contest curator Barbara Wallraff, by clicking here.

My favorite of the bunch was waxing the giraffe. What was yours?

From Eric Coulson: Highway 10 heads west out of Baghdad, through the suburb of Abu Ghurayb, turning north briefly where it winds its way between the city of Al Falluja and the military Camp Falluja before it resumes it western traverse to Ar Ramadi. After Ar Ramadi the road swings southwest, rolling though open desert to Al Rutbah and then finally the Jordanian…

It’s been a busy week in Wally World: the Universe’s source of cheap plastic crap. On The Writing On The Wal — the blog USA Today says should be on its readers’ radar — Jonathan Rees, Robert Feinman and I continue our work dedicated to drawing back the curtain on the Bentonvile Behemoth’s corporate disinformation and other flackery.

BATTLING FOR WAL MART… AGAIN… Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead. That seems to be the Bentonvile Behemoth”s current business philosophy, at least as regards advertising in the wake of the Julie Roehm debacle, according to Lewis Lazare in this morning”s Chicago Sun Times: Keep reading…

SPEAKING UP… SPEAKING OUT… My co-blogger Jonathan Rees wrote about this story on Saturday. I went back and revisited a story published in the Arkanas Morning News on the protests and found the comments section overflowing. (We should have comment threads this good.) Keep reading…

YET MORE WAL MART EFFECT… Go watch…

COMING TO A WAL MART NEAR YOU… We all know how much business that the Bentonvile Behemoth is doing with China these days. So I have to wonder, if this story is legitimate, how long it will be before we have a similar occurrence here at a Wally World? From MSN News:. Keep reading…

OHIO TAKES THE LEAD AGAIN… The City Commission in Dayton, Ohio, wants the Bentonvile Behemoth to play nice. That”s the gist of the message the body sent to the company yesterday in the form of an informal resolution, according to the Dayton Daily News: Keep reading…

ARMED ROBBERS STEAL 3.3 SECONDS WORTH… The FBI is now searching for Bilial Shabazz who, along with three other men (two were Wal Mart assistant managers), stole a whopping 3.3 seconds worth of Wal Mart”s money. According to this morning”s Philadelphia Inquirer: Keep reading…

MUCKING UP THE MESSAGE… That”s how the copy desk at the New York Post frames the holiday season for Wal Mart. At the most important sales time of the year three of the people responsible for how the Bentonvile Behemoth presents itself fell flat on their smilies. Keep reading…

$&#* WAKE UP WALMART… Paul Blank and the crew at Wakeup Walmart may have just tossed all the good will and positive vibe it gained over the summer with its brilliant bus trip across America into the dumpster by engaging in the most despicable of marketing practices: robocalls. Keep reading…

AT THE WALLY PLEX… There are sound stages on Hollywood”s back lots smaller than Bentonvile”s behemoths, so it”s no surprise that budding video talent has been sneaking cameras in at odd hours. And now for the midnight show at the Wally Plex featuring BamaPitBull316. Keep reading…

INDIAN MIDDLE CLASS GETS ITS WAL MART… Approximately one-sixth of the people on the Earth live in India and some 300 million of those (the equivalent of the population of the United States) are considered to be part of that country”s middle class. And Bharti Industries wants them to have their cheap plastic crap. Keep reading…

I have no doubt that there is plenty of shouting, foot stamping and scrambling in the White House this morning as the lede in Juliet Eilperin’s story sinks in. There has to be another reason all that ice is melting right? It can’t have anything to do with global warming. We don’t believe in global warming.

From The Washington Post:

The Bush administration has decided to propose listing the polar bear as threatened under the Endangered Species Act, putting the U.S. government on record as saying that global warming could drive one of the world’s most recognizable animals out of existence.

Because scientists have concluded that carbon dioxide from power-plant and vehicle emissions is helping drive climate change worldwide, putting polar bears on the endangered species list raises the legal question of whether the government would be required to compel U.S. industries to curb their carbon dioxide output.

Want to bet there’s a press conference this afternoon to tell us that Eilperin totally misunderstood the facts?