15 June 2007

SHARING A BOTTLE…

0835 by Jeff Hess

As an undergrad at Ohio University in the early ’80s I took a lot of courses from Dr. David Williams whose specialty was the history and politics of the then Soviet Union. I remember one of Dave’s tales about drinking in Moscow, where he attended Moscow University for his Masters in Journalism. The story went something like this:

When you’d walk down the street and pass a liquor store (state owned, of course), you’d often see someone standing outside holding up one, two, or rarely, three fingers. The raised fingers were the number of people they were looking for to share a bottle of vodka. It wasn’t that Russian drinkers were particularly social, it was that the tradition was to finish a bottle after you opened it. And to symbolize your intent you’d throw a way the cap.

Being a typical (at least then) Ohio University (a fountain of knowledge where many went to drink) student, I adopted this mode for sometime, sharing the experience with friends in Dave’s classes.

So I do understand a little something about the Russian drinking experience, but I don’t get this:

UK researchers estimated that half of all deaths in working age men in the country are due to hazardous drinking.

The products, which also include herbal tinctures sold in pharmacies, are widely available, cheap and contain up to 97% alcohol, the Lancet study says.

It was found that they contain very few toxins but are deadly simply because of the extreme alcohol levels.

Is that these products aren’t taxed at the level of alcohol sold for drinking? Are they more easily available for some reason.

The usually thorough BBC doesn’t tell us in the story.

And oh, by the way. How many of you out there know that Listerine is 50 proof?

15 June 2007

WHAT THEY SAID…

0803 by Jeff Hess

We burned down the house, that’s what we did. A Daily Dish reader.

15 June 2007

FROM MY DAD…

0800 by Jeff Hess

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

One day I had a date for lunch with friends. Mae, a little old “blue hair” about 80 years old, came along with them — all in all, a pleasant bunch. When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Mae who said, “Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate.”

I wasn’t sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast.

“Along with heated apple pie,” Mae added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time.

But when our orders were brought out, I didn’t enjoy mine.

I couldn’t take my eyes off Mae as her pie a-la-mode went down.

The other ladies showed dismay. They ate their lunches silently and frowned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Mae. I lunched on white meat tuna. She ordered a parfait. I smiled. She asked if she amused me. I answered, “Yes, you do, but also you confuse me. How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible?

She laughed and said, with wanton mirth, “I’m tasting all that’s possible. I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should.
But life’s so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good. This year I realized how old I was. (She grinned) I haven’t been this old before.

“So, before I die, I’ve got to try those things that for years I had ignored. I haven’t smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many books I haven’t read. There’s more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead. There are many malls I haven’t shopped. I’ve not laughed at all the jokes. I’ve missed a lot of Broadway hits and potato chips and cokes.

“I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face. I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace. I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want un-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most.

“I haven’t cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind in my hair. I want to fall in love again.
So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I’d say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart’s desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired.”

With that, I called the waitress over. “I’ve changed my mind,” I said. “I want what she is having, only add some more whipped cream!”

15 June 2007

COULD THIS BE WHY RATZENBERG HAS THAT SMILE…?

0759 by Jeff Hess

15 June 2007

FROM MY CHAPBOOK…

0400 by Jeff Hess

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

A little more than a month ago, my friend, blogger and poet Sherry Chandler posted about a book that she had read. She wrote:

I have been very slowly reading my way through Chris Hedges’ War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning (Public Affairs, 2002). I find it very slow going because every page seems to rip my heart out. Hedges is a great writer; the book is riveting. It’s a portrait of humankind at its most brutal.

I picked up the book and found I had the same problem. Hedges’ book is not one I could read quickly. I read and re-read sentances, whole paragraphs, trying to wrap my head around his experiences. A tremendous amount went into my chapbook, but where I wanted to copy out whole pages I forced myself to capture thoughts I could contemplate.

It is unusual for me to make a case for a book, but in the sixth year of the third millenium of our common era, this is a book that all Americans ought to read.

This is a passage I copied from War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning by Chris Hedges.

I have heard Israeli settlers on the West Bank, for example, argue that Palestinian towns, towns that have been Muslim since the seventh century, belong to them because it says so in the Bible, a reminder that this sophistry extends beyond the Balkans. p. 27

14 June 2007

COOL…

1654 by Jeff Hess

14 June 2007

WE HAVE MET THE TERRORISTS AND THEY IS US…

1640 by Jeff Hess

I haven’t flown but once in the past 10 years; just a quick hop to La Guardia and back. It was annoying, but nothing like what Monica Emmerson and her son had to face. Who ever is the top dog at the agency responsible for the treatment she and her son received at National Airport needs to publically apologize to her and fire the thugs.

From Nowpublic:

As I was escorted out of security by TSA and a police officer, I unscrewed the cup to drink the water, which accidentally spilled because I was so upset with the situation.

“At this point, I was detained against my will by the police officer and threatened to be arrested for endangering other passengers with the spilled 3 to 4 ounces of water. I was ordered to clean the water, so I got on my hands and knees while my son sat in his stroller with no shoes on since they were also screened and I had no time to put them back on his feet.

I asked to call back my fiancé, who I could still see from afar, waiting for us to clear security, to watch my son while I was being detained, and the officer threatened to arrest me if I moved. So I yelled past security to get the attention of my fiancé.

“I was ordered to apologize for the spilled water, and again threatened arrest. I was threatened several times with arrest while detained, and while three other police officers were called to the scene of the mother with the 19 month old.

A total of four police officers and three TSA officers reported to the scene where I was being held against my will. I was also told that I should not disrespect the officer and could be arrested for this too. I apologized to the officer and she continued to detain me despite me telling her that I would miss my flight.

The officer advised me that I should have thought about this before I ‘intentionally spilled the water!'”

You have to wonder how many real terrorists could have slipped by while these seven people were harrassing the woman?

14 June 2007

MY COMMENTS…

1536 by Jeff Hess

Part of being a good citizen of the blogosphere is visiting, reading and, most importantly, taking the time to leave a comment on other’s blogs. It’s all about the conversation. In the interest of setting an example I’ve decided to link to those blog posts that have compelled me to leave a comment.

1624 Water
1615 “My” pet peeve
1532 Woke Up this Morning…

14 June 2007

MUCKING OUT THE BLOGPILE…

1400 by Jeff Hess

I’m constantly tossing interesting websites into what I call my blogpile. Some of them find their way here in the form of regular posts, but more often than not they languish and get buried deeper in the pile. The end result is that I have to go back and do a bit of shoveling. Today’s item is The Allure of Neuroscientific Explanations.

14 June 2007

FROM MY DAD…

0800 by Jeff Hess

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

At dawn the telephone rings:

“Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.”

“Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”

“Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot died.”

“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”

“Si, Senor, that’s the one.”

“Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?”

“From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod”

“Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”

“Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”

“Dead horse? What dead horse?”

“The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.”

“My prize thoroughbred is dead?”

“Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”

“Are you insane? What water cart?”

“The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.”

“Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”

“The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”

“What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?

“Yes, Senor Rod.”

“But there’s electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”

“For the funeral, Senor Rod.”

“WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?”

“Your wife’s, Senor Rod. She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver.”

Silence.

Long silence.

“Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep shit!”

14 June 2007

WHAT THEY SAID…

0742 by Jeff Hess

No guts. No guts. No guts. Mike Gravel.

14 June 2007

FROM MY CHAPBOOK…

0400 by Jeff Hess

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

A little more than a month ago, my friend, blogger and poet Sherry Chandler posted about a book that she had read. She wrote:

I have been very slowly reading my way through Chris Hedges’ War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning (Public Affairs, 2002). I find it very slow going because every page seems to rip my heart out. Hedges is a great writer; the book is riveting. It’s a portrait of humankind at its most brutal.

I picked up the book and found I had the same problem. Hedges’ book is not one I could read quickly. I read and re-read sentances, whole paragraphs, trying to wrap my head around his experiences. A tremendous amount went into my chapbook, but where I wanted to copy out whole pages I forced myself to capture thoughts I could contemplate.

It is unusual for me to make a case for a book, but in the sixth year of the third millenium of our common era, this is a book that all Americans ought to read.

This is a passage I copied from War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning by Chris Hedges.

War”s utter depravity was captured in Shakespeare”s play Troilus And Cressida, a work that as far is known was never performed in Shakespeare”s lifetime, perhaps due to its savage indictment of war and human society. p. 25

13 June 2007

AND FAR BETTER THE LATTER…

1600 by Jeff Hess

The intellect of man is forced to choose perfection of the life or of the work, and if he take the second, must refuse a heavenly mansion raging in the dark.

From The Choice by William Butler Yeats.

13 June 2007

MUCKING OUT THE BLOGPILE…

1400 by Jeff Hess

I’m constantly tossing interesting websites into what I call my blogpile. Some of them find their way here in the form of regular posts, but more often than not they languish and get buried deeper in the pile. The end result is that I have to go back and do a bit of shoveling. Today’s item is How To Make Your Own Laundry Detergent.

13 June 2007

FROM THE SANDBOX…

1200 by Jeff Hess

SPC Freeman: Our motor pool is a barren expanse of gravel and sand on the northern perimeter of our FOB. It borders the flightline of the local airbase, and is big enough to accomodate at least thirty football fields. It’s easy to get lost amidst the rows of vehicles and equipment; especially if you work at it. It’s an unusual contrast: the motor pool and flightline…

13 June 2007

MY COMMENTS…

0847 by Jeff Hess

Part of being a good citizen of the blogosphere is visiting, reading and, most importantly, taking the time to leave a comment on other’s blogs. It’s all about the conversation. In the interest of setting an example I’ve decided to link to those blog posts that have compelled me to leave a comment.

0845 So What’s My First Impression Of This Student?
0815 Damn well better give us Gifted Ed “scholarships” first

13 June 2007

NOW THAT’S A SHADOW LINE…

0836 by Jeff Hess


Via Your Daily Art.

13 June 2007

FROM MY DAD…

0800 by Jeff Hess

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband’s libido.

“What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.

“Not a chance”, she said . “He won’t even take an aspirin”

Not a problem”, replied the doctor. “Give him an ‘Irish Viagra.’ It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went”

It wasn’t a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!

“Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.

“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!

“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor, “Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good”?

“Twas the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”

13 June 2007

WHAT THEY SAID…

0743 by Jeff Hess

These results tell us that the population across the board is messed up, confused, lied to, and festering in ignorance-it’s just that right now the Republican party is a magnet for the stupid. PZ Meyers

13 June 2007

THIS COULD NEVER HAPPEN IN AMERICA…

0741 by Jeff Hess

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