Have Coffee Will Write

23 November 2007

FROM MY DAD…

0800 by Jeff Hess

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained.

‘Well, doc, it’s like this – first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing!

The doctor was shocked ! ‘You asked your neighbor?’

The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’

Posted in From My Dad, Humor | No Comments »

23 November 2007

GOOD AFTERNOON MYANMAR…

0430 by Jeff Hess

Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, the sole woman among the leaders assembled at the Association of South East Asian Nations economic summit, continued to express her displeasure with the pace of reform in Myanmar and let it be known that she would continue to keep pressure on the military dictators in Myanmar.

From Irrawaddy:

“Let me be very clear. We … remain concerned about the pace of progress of Myanmar [Burma] on the issue of human rights,” Arroyo said.

“We particularly deplore the treatment of Aung San Suu Kyi,” the pro-democracy leader who remains under house arrest. “She must be released, now,” Arroyo told reporters before cutting short her visit to Singapore by a day.

Philippines is the most vocal critic of Burma among the 10 members of ASEAN. Burma dominated discussions at ASEAN’s annual summit this week but scored a diplomatic victory when it blocked a planned briefing by UN envoy Ibrahim Gambari to Asian leaders.

But Arroyo said Burma was still not off the ASEAN hook.

Arroyo, as the leader of a country that knew life under the U.S. supported dictatorship of Ferdinand Marcos for more than 20 years, is well placed to hold the Myanmar (and other regional) dictators’ fee to the fire.

“We will not rest in the pursuit of justice and reconciliation in Myanmar. We must be active in advocating peaceful reforms in that nation. It is good for Myanmar, for Asean and the world,” she said before heading to the airport.

Yes, indeed.

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar | 2 Comments »

23 November 2007

FROM MY CHAPBOOK…

0400 by Jeff Hess

My name is Jeff Hess and I’m a biblioholic. I own hundreds of books. Not valuable books, mostly Science Fiction paperbacks and text books, tomes rescued by the bag from library book sales. A few years ago, in the interest of not burying myself, I began reading more books from the library and taking notes. My electronic chapbook was born.

This is a passage I copied from Rational Mysticism: Dispatches from the border between science and spirituality by John Horgan.

Andrew Newberg”s Doubts: â€œâ€¦offered four reasons for believing mystical claims: Mystical experiences occur in identical forms in all cultures. They feel truer than any other experiences. They have neurological correlates. They are natural and beneficial.” p. 79

Posted in Chapbook | No Comments »

23 November 2007

DON’T FORGET BURMA NO. 11…

0230 by Jeff Hess

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar | No Comments »

23 November 2007

TIME POWER: TODAY…

0001 by Jeff Hess

Today, as I go about my tasks, I’ll think about: Nine ways to improve meetings:

Double preparation time and cut the meeting time in half.

Always use a written agenda.

Commit to times for starting and ending (latecomers should not be rewarded.

See that only the people who need to be there are there.

Try not to hold regularly scheduled meetings.

Hold the meeting standing up; when people come into your office for a meeting you might say, â€œI”m going to invite you to not sit down.It will save your time and mine.” Sometimes it”s good to hold your stand-up meeting in a corridor where there are no chairs.

Meet in someone else”s office.

Pass information to others in writing rather than in meetings.

Limit verbosity. p. 126-8

Posted in Time Power: Today | No Comments »

22 November 2007

GOOD MORNING MYANMAR…

2022 by Jeff Hess

I would not have predicted that Myanmar would so clearly emerge from the Association of South East Asian Nations summit in Singapore as the clear political winner. Despite international condemnation, sanctions, protests and scorn, the military dictatorship pulled off some of a coup, leaving the summit with its head high and its pockets full.

From EUX:

[Note: this story was written for The Bangkok Post, but it seems to have disappeared from Asian websites.]

The signing of the ASEAN charter, long anticipated as a moment of triumph, turned out to be a face-saving occasion with Myanmar the unexpected victor, analysts said.

“Myanmar got everything it wanted,” said Hiro Katsumata, an analyst at Singapore’s S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies. “It’s in a very comfortable position.”

Critics, who have long lamented the ineffectiveness of the Association of South-East Asian Nations (ASEAN) over four decades, acknowledged surprise that the body would cave in to such a degree after the bloody crackdown on pro-democracy protesters in September.

ASEAN’s kowtowing “wasn’t expected to go this far,” Katsumata said. “What it shows is the long policy of non-interference in each other’s affairs, the ASEAN way, will continue as usual.”

“This is a major victory for Myanmar,” he added.

I found this part particularly telling.

Complying with Myanmar’s objections, the ASEAN leaders late Monday called off a scheduled address by UN Special Envoy Ibrahim Gambari to the 10 member countries plus China, India, Japan, South Korea, Australia and New Zealand.

Singapore Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, who had arranged Gambari’s briefings, said Myanmar emphasized that Gambari, who visited the country four times, “should only report to the UN Security Council and not to ASEAN or the East Asia Summit.”

Specially when his report would have likely criticized the meeting’s crazy aunt in the attic.

“ASEAN has given the ruling junta carte blanche to do as they like,” said Debbie Stothard, with the Bangkok-based Alternative ASEAN Network on Burma.

“I’m deeply shocked,” she said. “ASEAN is committing suicide.”

Since the violent crackdown, the Burmese generals have failed to take meaningful action toward a process of democratic reform within the country and towards ensuring against future human rights, said the Asian Forum for Human Rights and Development.

“The final text of the charter is a major victory for Myanmar,” Katsumata said. As for ASEAN’s standing, “It doesn’t look good,” he added.

I’m not sure I can accept the suicide analogy. ASEAN is an economic body first and a political one a distant second. I expect the organization will act first in the coming weeks to ensure the flow of capital into the area and into the bank accounts of those involved.

Not ensuring that flow would be suicide.

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar | No Comments »

22 November 2007

MUCKING OUT THE BLOGPILE…

1400 by Jeff Hess

I’m constantly tossing interesting websites into what I call my blogpile. Some of them find their way here in the form of regular posts, but more often than not they languish and get buried deeper in the pile. The end result is that I have to go back and do a bit of shoveling. Today’s item is The Debate Over Israel.

Posted in Blogpile, Israel | No Comments »

22 November 2007

GOOD NIGHT MYANMAR…

1230 by Jeff Hess

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar, Video | No Comments »

22 November 2007

FROM THE SANDBOX…

1200 by Jeff Hess

Old Blue: We thought we were going to eat Thanksgiving dinner at the most dangerous firebase in the province, but that plan changed before breakfast due to a late night email barrage between two Colonels. It’s not important what it was about to anyone but us.The end result was that we took a nice long drive in the land of sandcastles, policed up some Joe’s…

Posted in The Sandbox | No Comments »

22 November 2007

FROM MY DAD…

0800 by Jeff Hess

Animator vs. Animation

Posted in From My Dad, Humor | No Comments »

22 November 2007

GOOD AFTERNOON MYANMAR…

0430 by Jeff Hess

Shipping military supplies across the China-Myanmar border is probably a routine matter. It’s no secret that the military dictators of Myanmar are closely tied to the Communist government at the northern border. Still, when people notice trucks carry military supplies driving south, something may be going on.

From the Democratic Voice of Burma:

Sources on the China-Burma border have claimed that Chinese military equipment and vehicles have been sent into the country over the past month at the Jiang Hkong border crossing.

Jiang Hkong is located in Yunnan province in China, across the border from Muse on the Burmese side.

Local source from the border said that the police chief of Yunnan province had met Khin Ye, a Burmese police chief, in Jiang Hkong on Monday.

The Chinese police chief reportedly handed over equipment for detecting explosives and mines to Khin Ye for use at Naypyidaw airport.

Local residents in Muse said they had seen seven Chinese-made flatbed trucks parked in front of Kaung hotel on the Muse-Mandalay highway overnight in the second week of November.

The following morning the trucks then drove off in the direction of Mandalay.

I’m betting that a road trip was not involved.

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar | No Comments »

22 November 2007

FROM MY CHAPBOOK…

0400 by Jeff Hess

This is a passage I copied from Rational Mysticism: Dispatches from the border between science and spirituality by John Horgan.

â€œIn their book The Mystical Mind, Newberg and D”Aquili made an extraordinarily bold prophecy: â€œIt is possible that with the advent of improved technologies for studying the brain, mystical experiences may finally be clearly differentiated from any type of psychopathology.” By looking at brain-scanning images, in other words, neurotheologians might distinguish genuine mystical visions from pathological gnostic delusions, crazy wisdom from mere craziness. Perhaps they will even resolve the debate between perennialists and postmodernists over which mystical visions are transcendent revelations and which are products of the mystic”s cultural indoctrination. Age-old disputes over mysticism”s meaning might finally be settled by an image showing decreased metabolic activity in the posterior superior parietal lobe.” p. 76

Posted in Chapbook | No Comments »

22 November 2007

DON’T FORGET BURMA NO. 10…

0230 by Jeff Hess

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar | No Comments »

22 November 2007

TIME POWER: TODAY…

0001 by Jeff Hess

Today, as I go about my tasks, I’ll think about: Nine steps in the delegation process:

Select the people who have the ability to do the job.

See that the people you select understand what you expect.

Let your associates know that you sincerely believe in their ability to carry our their tasks.

Negotiate deadlines.

Secure your associates” commitment to follow through.

Let your associates know in the beginning that you are going to follow up and then do it.

Provide latitude for your associates to use their imagination.

Do do the job for them; allow them to reserve the right to make mistakes.

Reward your associates commensurately with the results they produce.p. 123-5

Posted in Time Power: Today | No Comments »

21 November 2007

GOOD MORNING MYANMAR…

2030 by Jeff Hess

It may be that putting a brave face on the Association of Southeast Asian Nations meeting in Singapore this past week wasn’t the half of it. The blogger at Tonyocruz thinks that the representatives of the other nine nations gathered for the economic summit were cowed by Myanmar and its military dictators. After, they wouldn’t want to slow, or even stop, the flow of cash into the region over the minor matter human rights.

From Tonyocruz:

Showing insensitivity to the global uproar over human rights abuses by the military junta, the ten-member Association of Southeast Asian Nations gave Myanmar â€œkid gloves” treatment at the start of the ASEAN Summit in Singapore.

Myanmar was even elected to head of the ASEAN Ministerial Meeting on Science and Technology in a gathering last week in Mandalay.

On Monday, the ASEAN heads of state kowtowed to Myanmar Prime Minister Thein Sein”s demand that the regional grouping consider issues in Rangoon as domestic affairs which the junta is â€œcapable of handling”.

A statement released Tuesday by Singapore, the current ASEAN chair, said that â€œthe ASEAN Leaders agreed that ASEAN would respect Myanmar”s wishes and make way for Myanmar to deal directly with the United Nations and the international community on its own”.

They wouldn’t want to get there hands dirty, would they? That might lead to claims of the pot calling the kettle black.

I also found this tidbit at the bottom of the post interesting.

The ministers also backed plans by Indonesia, Thailand and Vietnam to build nuclear power plants by forming an ad-hoc Technical Working Group addressing the S&T intervention activities related the three countries” efforts.

So that’s Indonesia, the world’s most populist nation, Thailand, a military government that staged a coup to bring itself to power and the communist nation of Vietnam coming together to join the Nuclear club.

Now doesn’t that make you sleep more soundly?

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar | No Comments »

21 November 2007

MUCKING OUT THE BLOGPILE…

1400 by Jeff Hess

Posted in Blogpile, Israel | No Comments »

21 November 2007

GOOD NIGHT MYANMAR…

1230 by Jeff Hess

Posted in Free Burma, Myanmar, Video | No Comments »

21 November 2007

WHAT THEY SAID…

1201 by Jeff Hess

â€œI stood at the White house briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the seniormost aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby. There was one problem. It was not true.” Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan

Posted in What They Say... | No Comments »

21 November 2007

FROM THE SANDBOX…

1200 by Jeff Hess

1SG Troy Steward: In March of 2006 I met a guy who I was at first very skeptical about and was not sure I could trust. He was an embedded reporter, and we in the military typically have to be wary of such people. However, it did not take long for me to come to consider him a true and damn good friend, a Great American and a hell of a Patriot. His name is Scott…

Posted in The Sandbox | No Comments »

21 November 2007

MY COMMENTS…

1112 by Jeff Hess

Part of being a good citizen of the blogosphere is visiting, reading and, most importantly, taking the time to leave a comment on other’s blogs. It’s all about the conversation. In the interest of setting an example I’ve decided to link to those blog posts that have compelled me to leave a comment.