Heather Ryan wrote:
Other people filtered in, and a few had children. I watched these children. At first I thought they were angry and sullen, like Chloe was. But they stood quietly next to their mothers, and they were polite and kind, much unlike Chloe, who was flicking bits of stringy turkey at her siblings.
It wasn’t until Ivan and Giselle saw the other kids and got up to talk to them, and I saw those kids flinch, that it began to make sense. Ivan and Giselle were acting like being here was no big deal because they hadn’t grown up with this, and they hadn’t a clue what it meant to be at a soup kitchen.
They didn’t feel ashamed of anything. So they asked questions of everyone, wondered aloud about how the serving dishes kept the food warm, and why there were single desserts instead of the served kind, and where the bathroom was.
Even Chloe’s sullenness was better than what I saw in those other kids, which was an acceptance of the situation and all it implied, all we load it with, all I loaded it with, despite my liberal proclamations, my lovely words and rhetoric argued in college classrooms, where I could turn a pretty phrase and win an argument about classism or poverty.
I had grown up “poor,” whatever that means, and hungry sometimes, too. But I had never been to a soup kitchen, didn’t have a clue what it looked like, what it felt like, and I’m sorry now that I had pretended to know and that I had made use of something I had no right to use.