29 November 2008
29 November 2008
I MIGHT HAVE BEEN IMPRESSED IF…
1643 by Jeff Hess
They made these out of 100 percent post-consumer waste paper. Otherwise, it’s a gimmick.
29 November 2008
29 November 2008
29 November 2008
DEMANDS MADE… HOSTAGES KILLED…
0741 by Jeff HessAs I read the news this morning concerning the attacks in Mombai, India, I was struck by Lydia DePillis words:
Still, the Wall Street Journal (which didn’t quite catch the end of hostilities) explains that the prolonged siege is somewhat baffling; terrorists typically aim for maximum damage in a short amount of time, but these attackers made no demands in exchange for hostages.
I was struck by her words because of the quote from Ha’aretz used by Jill Miller Zimon yesteday.
A militant holed up at the Chabad headquarters in Mumbai on Thursday phoned an Indian television channel to say he was prepared to free his Israeli hostages if the government agreed to talks.
Instead of talks — has India too bought into the myth of not negotiating with terrorists? — Indian (and unconfirmed reports of Israeli) commandoes attacked. From the New York Times:
With a helicopter hovering overhead, Indian commandos on Friday morning stormed the Chabad-Lubavitch Jewish center in Mumbai where hostages had been held since it was seized Wednesday by seaborne terrorists.
As the thump of explosions and rattle of automatic weapons shook the six-story white building, blue-clad commandos slid down ropes from a helicopter to the roof and battled their way inside, according to witnesses.
Thoughout the day, gun battles raged in the building, Nariman House, and Reuters reported that the commandos had blown a breach in an outer wall. Late in the day, black-uniformed Indian reinforcements moved in, and a van with six medics in surgical gowns and masks was parked close by, apparently in anticipation of casualties.
Israeli officials and Lubavitch elders confirmed later that six hostages were found dead inside. They were Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, 29, of Brooklyn, and his Israeli wife, Rivka, 28, the Lubavitch emissaries in Mumbai who ran Nariman House; another rabbi from Brooklyn who was living in Israel, Leibish Teitelbaum; Bentzion Chroman, an Israeli with dual American citizenship; an unidentified Israeli woman; and another unidentified woman, according to Rabbi Zalman Shmotkin, a Lubavitch spokesman in Brooklyn, and The Associated Press.
Ha`aretz reports eight died.
29 November 2008
28 November 2008
28 November 2008
28 November 2008
27 November 2008
27 November 2008
WHAT THEY SAY…
1309 by Jeff HessAdmissions officers, it is said, don”t know what to make of application forms these days-many of them have so clearly been filled out by someone other than the applicant. If the parents don”t feel up to the job, they can turn to IvyWise, a service that, for a fee ranging from three thousand to forty thousand dollars, gives students a course in how to get into college.
IvyWise”s offerings include “Application Boot Camp,” on how to complete the forms, and “Essay Writing Workshop,” on how to get the application essay into “optimal shape for submission.” Careful parents don”t have to wait for application time, however.
IvyWise will also advise high-school freshmen and sophomores on which courses and extracurricular activities to choose, so that two or three years later, when the application process begins, they won”t make the awful discovery that they have been spending their time on classes and clubs that will not please admissions committees.
How much would you pay to have your student tutored?
27 November 2008
27 November 2008
27 November 2008
FROM MY DAD…
0830 by Jeff Hess
I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.
My New Parrot
Recently I received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
I tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that I’d hurt the parrot,
I quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said
“I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
I was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
“May I ask what the turkey did?”
Happy Thanksgiving.
27 November 2008
27 November 2008
26 November 2008
26 November 2008
WHAT THEY SAY…
1758 by Jeff HessThe current economic collapse is a difficult story for TV. It’s a peculiar period in between an election and an inauguration. This most important story, this great-or-not-so great depression, is also the hardest for CNN to tell. I have more than enough reasons why in this late-night rant.
1) It’s not a hurricane so Anderson Cooper of CNN is unable to position himself in the middle of the storm for optimal drama. In other words, TV anchors can’t get wet and windblown, while viewers worry about their safety. The state of the economy is a disaster but not a natural disaster. Nobody’s leaving the studio for this one. There’s no place to go.
