I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

There is no distinctly native American criminal class…save Congress. — Mark Twain

Warning: never trust an Internet quote without checking something other than Google. I’m willing to bet that less than 10 percent of these are real or accurate.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

Give writing top priority. Make it the first thing you do. p. 89

From Telling Lies for Fun and Profit: A Manual for Fiction Writers by Lawrence Block.

I wrote 1,577 words yesterday morning and my total word count is now 10,498.

While I have remained cautiously optimistic that change, in no small part driven by the enlightened foreign policy of the administration of President Barack Hussein Obama and the efforts of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, might be possible in Myanmar, there is a cynical part of me that thinks of snowballs in hell.

From The Guardian:

The optimists point to recent engagement by the US, and nascent dialogue between Aung San Suu Kyi and the Burmese regime. Aung San Suu Kyi has recently written to Senior General Than Shwe offering to meet him to discuss how they can work together for the benefit of the people of Burma.

Were it not for bitter experience, people might be getting ready to celebrate and preparing for a new, properly inclusive form of politics. But Burma has seen many false dawns and no one is getting too excited.

In terms of hard facts there is not much to get excited about. A few months ago I sat in the Rangoon court that, after a show trial, sentenced Aung San Suu Kyi to a further period of house arrest. More than 2,100 political prisoners remain in jail. Elections next year look like going ahead on the basis of a constitution that delivers 25% of the seats in the new national assembly to the military before a single vote has been cast. Burma’s record on human rights and wider political freedoms remains dreadful, as last week’s EU-tabled resolution in the UN’s human rights committee made depressingly clear. The economy continues to stagnate.

Despair, however, does no one good.

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. — Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

Warning: never trust an Internet quote without checking something other than Google. I’m willing to bet that less than 10 percent of these are real or accurate.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

It is not the quirks that make an enduring character but the essential personality which the quirks highlight. How the character views the world, how he acts and reacts, is of much greater importance than what he had for breakfast. p. 220

From Telling Lies for Fun and Profit: A Manual for Fiction Writers by Lawrence Block.

I wrote 3,138 words yesterday morning and my total word count is now 50,200.

Previously…

In what may very well be the single largest document file I’ve ever attempted to download, the Burma Human Rights Yearbook 2008 requires 1092 pages to list and describe acts spanning banal cruelty to inhuman depravity perpetrated against the citizens of Myanmar by both public and private individuals and organizations.

Produced by the Human Rights Documentation Unit of the National Coalition Government Of The Union Of Burma, the government in exile, the report:

[A]ddresses the full gamut of human rights abuses being perpetrated in all areas across the country. Similarly, few other organizations working to promote human rights in Burma can claim the longevity of the HRDU.

At 1,092 pages in length, comprised of approximately half a million words (excluding the endnote citations; of which there are over 4,800), this present publication, the Burma Human Rights Yearbook 2008, is the single largest, most comprehensive, most inclusive report ever produced by any organization in the world detailing the human rights situation in Burma.

This, however, in itself is no cause for celebration. Sadly, many of the issues examined in this current report remain the same as those discussed in the very first Burma Human Rights Yearbook, 15 years ago. The military remains firmly entrenched in power and wholesale oppression of the civilian population continues. Despite ongoing documentation activities, increased public awareness of human rights, repeated examples of public dissent and calls for reform, coupled with unprecedented levels of international awareness and condemnation of the situation in Burma, the State Peace and Development Council military regime has persistently failed to address (or even listen to) the grievances of the general population.

I wonder just how many weeks it will take me to read this?

From Ralph Solonitz…

1151: Nothing like making the next 346 days even tougher than they have to be

Ta-Nehisi Coates writes:

This puts me in the mind of the early 90s when Negroes were running around parroting that Menace II Society line, I’m white America’s worst nightmare: Young, black and just don’t give a fuck. I was kid, but even then I used to think, No you’re not. You’re your momma’s worse nightmare. You’re your next-door neighbors worse nightmare. White people got expensive jails and cheap graves for niggers like you.

I mean, I guess some substantial portion of white people were afraid–but these fools were confusing white fear with some kind of actual black power. This was false for many reasons, among them, many people who weren’t white were also afraid, and generally acted accordingly. Likewise, Palin’s base confuses “liberal fear” with some kind of populist power, by ignoring the fact that a lot of people who want nothing to do with us pinkos, are afraid of Palin too.

From Haaretz…

It’s been a busy week in Wally World: the Universe’s source of cheap plastic crap. On The Writing On The Wal — the blog USA Today says should be on its readers’ radar — Jonathan Rees and I continue our work dedicated to drawing back the curtain on the Bentonvile Behemoth’s corporate disinformation and other flackery.

THE WALMART PUNCH LINE… Americans love deals. They brag about deals. They lie about deals. They make up deals that no sane merchant – trust me, Crazy Eddie was very sane – would ever offer. But TNSTAAFL* always applies and if it looks too good to be true, it most likely is. Keep reading…

HEATHER ELLIS: NOT THAT INNOCENT… I chose to pass over the story of Heather Ellis and her interaction with Walmart because the story just didn”t smell right. I”m not saying she”s wrong. I”m no saying she”s right. I”m just saying. My friend and blogger Jimi Izrael has weighed in and offered his take.
Keep reading…

EIGHT DAYS AND COUNTING… Here”s a writer”s rule of thumb. When you read an assurance that “the following story is fictional and does not dipict any actual person or event,” you can bet the mortgage that, while license is taken, that the writer(s) are working from a news story.
Keep reading…

LEE SCOTT SELLS 1/3 OF HIS WALMART STOCK… There”s no clue what he wanted $13 million for and, quite frankly, it”s none of my business, but when the former CEO of Walmart decides to cash in 244,414 shares of his company stock at $53.31 each (those are some odd numbers), it does make me go hmmm. Keep reading…

FROM BRAZIL TO ASIA TO S. AMERICA TO GONE… Vicente Trius had all the markings of a rising managemet star at Walmart, but after only five months at the head of Walmart”s South American division, Trius is departing. The newsrelease is unclear, but it looks like the departure is immediate. Keep reading…

I WANT TO GIVE THIS WOMAN A BIG KISS… The world needs more active, engaged and passionate women like Chicago Alderwoman Freddrenna Lyle. The battle for the expansion of Walmart”s presence continues but Lyle isn”t giving an inch, citing the real need to expand the middle class. Keep reading…

MEET BETH… SHE WORKS FOR WALMART… I don”t know how long this has existed, but this morning I stumbled upon Walmart”s YouTube channel. In typical Walmart fashion, embeding is turned off, (I figured it out) but you can go watch what I think is probably a Walmart feel-good commercial. Keep reading…

AT THE WALLY PLEX… There are sound stages on Hollywood”s back lots smaller than Bentonvile”s behemoths, so it”s no surprise that budding video talent has been sneaking cameras in at odd hours. And now for the midnight show at the Wally Plex featuring accskbff. Keep reading…

HEATHER ELLIS COPS A PLEA… After testifying in court that she was innocent of all charges Heather Ellis and her lawyers watched the jury file out and decided to not throw the dice. This is probably good for Ellis but it is bad for the justice system. We will never know what transpired. Keep reading…

A STRANGER IN AN EVEN STRANGER WALMART… Blogger Catherine Bodry lives in Seward, Alaska (do you miss your governor, Catherine?) and makes her living as a travel writer. On a recent trip to China she hit a piece of home: the Walmart. What followed is a something of a down-the-rabbit-hole ride. Keep reading…

A WALMART OMNIBUS… Over recent weeks I”ve been busy in other parts of my life and missed quiet a few Walmart stories that have developed and since disappeared. In the interest of at least noting their passing, I offer this omnibus collection of headlines for your consideration. Keep reading…

IT”S ALL ABOUT HIM… Like the Sarah Palin crowd that turned ugly the other night people are passionate about Walmart until they”re not. Now Darren has every right in the world, and more reasons than I can count, to not shop at Walmart, but he”s going to walk away from the store… Keep reading…

SMILEY BACK IN COURT… AGAIN…A Frenchman has the best claim to the worst and truest symbol of the “70s: smiley, but other people still try to own him, knowing that if they succeed, they can rake in millions, possibly billions, in licensing fees from nearly everyone, including Walmart. Keep reading…

HOW MUCH CAN THEY NOT AFFORD TO LOSE…? Last month it was the books, taking food out of Sarah Palin”s children”s mouths and crushing my hopes to ever become obscenely rich and obnoxious as the author of best-selling thrillers that Hollywood directors would fight over to option. Keep reading…

From The Washington Post:

The Census Bureau employee found dead in September killed himself and staged his death to look like a homicide, state and federal law enforcement officials said Tuesday.

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain

Warning: never trust an Internet quote without checking something other than Google. I’m willing to bet that less than 10 percent of these are real or accurate.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

“Telling writers how to fake,” she said, “is like teaching children how to steal. You should be ashamed of yourself.” I should indeed be ashamed of myself, and I often am, but not this time. For fakery is the heart and soul of fiction. All our novels and short stories are nothing but a pack of lies. p. 215

From Telling Lies for Fun and Profit: A Manual for Fiction Writers by Lawrence Block.

I wrote 1,999 words yesterday morning and my total word count is now 47,062.

Previously…

I have up close and personal experience with boat people. My own case involved Vietnamese fleeing their country in the late ’70s. The destination was The Philippines where the government had turned what was once a tourist island in Subic Bay into a huge refugee camp. What these boat people will face is many times worse.

From The Independent:

Here’s a formula for making a killing in times of crisis. Go to the south-eastern tip of Bangladesh, on the border with Burma, and buy an old fishing boat. It’ll cost 100,000 taka, or about £900. Then budget 450 pounds, for rice and drinking water, and maybe another £450 for bribes. Then head off and trawl for clients among the most destitute communities in Bangladesh – a country so densely populated country and so poor that for Britain to be on similar economic terms it would have to have a population of 200 million with an average income around four per cent of what a Briton’s is today,

But the target market we are looking at here is several times more impoverished than that. We are talking about quite possibly the most neglected people in Asia, or anywhere else.

John Carlin’s report is long and detailed and offers a view of it means to truly be at the bottom, no, to be underneath, deep, deep underneath the bottom of our planet’s pile of humanity.

Roldo Bartimole writes:

The most reasonable tax for Cleveland City Council to raise income would be a special admissions tax on all events at Progressive Field, Quicken Arena, and Browns Stadium.

Why?

The reason is mainly because none of the teams pay any property taxes on their sports facilities. Not a penny.

They ride FREE.

Somehow Mayor Frank Jackson and City Council always overlook the guys at the top of the ladder. In this case, all Billionaires. Continue Reading »