DUCKS QUACK, EAGLES FLY

Harvey Mackay was waiting in line for a taxi at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie and freshly pressed black slacks, Wally the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back door. Harvey noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside – spotlessly clean.

As Wally slid behind the wheel, he said, “Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.”

Jokingly, Harvey said, “No, I’d prefer a soft drink.”

Wally smiled and said, “No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.”

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, “I’ll take a Diet Coke.”

Handing Harvey his drink, Wally said, “If you’d like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.”

As the taxi pulled away from the curb, Wally handed Harvey a laminated card and said, “These are the stations I get and the music they play if you’d like to listen to the radio.” As if that weren’t enough, Wally told Harvey the air conditioning was on and asked if the temperature was comfortable.

The driver then advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. Wally also let Harvey know that he’d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

“Tell me, Wally,” the amazed passenger asked, “have you always served customers like this?”

Wally smiled and looked in the rear view mirror. “No, not always. In fact, it’s only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru Wayne Dyer on the radio saying that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself.

He said, ‘Stop complaining. Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don’t be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.”

“So I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers unfriendly and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.”

“I take it that has paid off for you,” Harvey said.

“It sure has,” Wally replied. “My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year, I’ll probably quadruple it.”

Wally the cab driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like a duck and to start soaring like an eagle.

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

Via The Christian Science Monitor…

All this serves the dark. Against the shadow
of veiled possibility my workdays stand
in a most asking light. I am slowly falling
into the fund of things. And yet to serve the earth,
not knowing what I serve, gives a wideness
and a delight to the air, and my days
do not wholly pass.

-from Enriching The Earth, p. 21

Found in my electronic chapbook.

From Farming: A Hand Book by Wendell Berry.

By the time you read through this you will understand tenjooberrymuds.

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the new English language. Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term tenjooberrymuds.

With a little patience, you’ll be able to fit right in. Now, here goes…

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old U.S. today:

Room Service: “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”

Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”

Room Service: ” Rye. Roon sirbees. Morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?”

Guest: “Uh, yes, I’d like to order bacon and eggs.”

Room Service: “Ow july den?”

Guest: “What?”

Room Service: “Ow July den?… pryed, boyud, poochd?”

Guest: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please.”

Room Service: “Ow july dee baykem? Crease?”

Guest: “Crisp will be fine.”

Room Service: “Hokay. An sahn toes?”

Guest: “What?”

Room Service: “An toes. July sahn toes?”

Guest: “I don’t think so.”

RoomService: “No? Judo wan sahn toes???”

Guest: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”

RoomService: “Toes! Toes!…Why Joo don juan toes? Ow bow anglish moppin we bodder?”

Guest: “Oh, English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying toast. Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RoomService: “We bodder?”

Guest: “No, just put the bodder on the side.”

RoomService: “Wad?”

Guest: “I mean butter. just put the butter on the side.”

RoomService: “Copy?”

Guest: “Excuse me?”

RoomService: “Copy, tea..meel?”

Guest: “Yes. Coffee, please. And that’s everything.”

RoomService: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy, rye??”

Guest: “Whatever you say.”

RoomService: “Tenjooberrymuds.”

Guest: “You’re welcome”

Remember I said “By the time you read through this you will understand tenjooberrymuds.” And you do, don’t you!

Which just goes to show that we can all learn.

Previously…

0747: What’s behind the rash of Chinese school stabbings?

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1910.
One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1910:

The average life expectancy was 47 years. Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub. Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower! The average wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour. The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year. A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at home. Ninety percent of all doctors had no college education. Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press and the government as “substandard.”

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee was fifteen cents a pound. Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were: pneumonia/influenza, Tuberculosis, diarrhea, heart disease and stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30. Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea Hadn’t been invented yet. There was no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Two out of every 10 adults couldn’t read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school…

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, “Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.”

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

and the summer”s garden continues its descent
through me, toward the ground.

-from The Morning News, p. 20

Found in my electronic chapbook.

From Farming: A Hand Book by Wendell Berry.

I understand our horror with nations and rebels who conscript children to serve in their ranks, but we also have to remember our own history in the United States and how we have come to glorify our own child soldiers. I don’t think the issue is the age of those fighting; the issue is that we fight at all.

From the Associated Press:

Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon on Friday urged the U.N. Security Council to consider tough measures against countries and insurgent groups that persist in recruiting child soldiers.

The U.N. chief’s annual report to the council for the first time includes a list of violators that have been monitored for at least five years, including Somalia’s transitional government, Congo’s armed forces, Myanmar’s army, and rebel groups in Congo, Myanmar, the Philippines, Colombia, Sudan and Uganda.

The report also names two parties that try to maim or kill children in conflict – Somalia’s government and al-Shabab Islamist militants trying to overthrow it. And for the first time it names seven parties that commit rape and sexual violence against youngsters — six in Congo and Uganda’s Lord’s Resistance Army, which is notorious for kidnapping children and using them as fighters and sex slaves.

“We still live in a world with those who would use children as spies, soldiers and human shields,” Radhika Coomaraswamy, the U.N. special representative for children in armed conflict, said in a statement. “The shifting nature of conflict has put many children on the front lines. Too often children become collateral damage during military operations.”

Please consider this 14-year-old medic in the Shan State Army.

And much, much more…

Previously…

From Cord Jefferson:

They were armed to the teeth. They were mad. They gathered at public buildings, guns tucked into their waistlines, demanding limited governmental authority and the right to self-determination. They believed the Democratic White House to be an untrustworthy, imperialistic power, one that “robbed” them under spurious circumstances. They were wary of the “Zionist media,” and they loved to quote at length from America’s founding documents, specifically violent, revolutionary passages like, “it is their duty, to throw off [an abusive] Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.” They were members of one of the most fringe political organizations in modern American history.

I wonder how Ta-Nehisi Coates feels about this comparison?

I do think they could have found a country song or two for the soundtrack.

Via reader Mary Jo…

From Patten Faqua:

But let”s look at the other side of the coin for a moment. A large part of the reason that we are being ignored is because of who we are. Think about that for just a second. Did you hear about looting? Did you hear about crime sprees? No…you didn”t. You heard about people pulling their neighbors off of rooftops. You saw a group of people trying to move two horses to higher ground. No…we didn”t loot. Our biggest warning was, “Don”t play in the floodwater.” When you think about it…that speaks a lot for our city. A large portion of why we were being ignored was that we weren”t doing anything to draw attention to ourselves. We were handling it on our own.

Compare this to the flood that hit my hometown in 2004 Bet you didn’t hear about that one either.

Seeking the passage of laws that prohibit injustice and then moving on while claiming that law enforcement is not your job, is the modus operandi of the politically lazy at all points along the public spectrum.

Too many times in my brief political life, society has celebrated the passage of a law address the great injustice of the day and then considered its job done. We have enough laws — I favor a 1-for-2 legislative rule: for every law you add to the books, you have to retire two — but no where near enough action.

In my own personal crusades, I attempt to address free speech and the first amendment to our Constitution by calling out all those who would censor offensive speech. Time and time again, I have repeated my mantra that the response to offensive speech must always be more speech. Allow the ill-informed and willfully ignorant their moment and then hammer their lies, half-truths and manifest benightedness into smoke with justice justice and truth.

Never, ever attempt to simply shut them up.

That is where I think we are lurching down the wrong path with Republican senatorial candidate from Kentucky Rand Paul. Several years ago I read his father’s book and I found much in it that was intelligent and reasonable. As a whole, however, I rejected his thesis because of the societal consequences I saw there.

I don’t know enough about Rand Paul, and because I don’t live in Kentucky and can’t cast a vote against him, I’m not likely to invest a great deal of time in learning more, but I’m disturbed by the responses I’ve seen this morning concerning Paul and the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

The law is historic, but it is not sacred. As I’ve listened to and read the questions and responses this morning on the subject, I’ve been disturbed at the way the questions have been asked in such a way as to treat the law as some sacred document beyond reproach.

I think that I understand Paul’s position and, in my own way, I think I agree with it. Institutionalized Racism is wrong, but making it illegal was a flawed response. The flaw, as I perceive it, is that making a wrong illegal does not equate to removing the wrong. A wrong is eliminated when a society agrees that entertaining the wrong is vastly more costly to the society and the individuals of which it is constituted than rejecting that wrong.

Consider this example from my life.

In my home town of Marietta, Ohio, there were (and still may be) two barbershops on Tiber Way: one for Blacks and one for Whites. The two are right next door to each other, so close and indistinguishable from each other that my best friend once inadvertently walked into the Black shop and got a haircut, thank you very much. Neither shop had signage that declared Blacks or Whites only. Where they separate but equal? Perhaps.

The early identical situation exists in my adopted home of Cleveland Heights, Ohio. A very short walk from my home are two barbershops: Dominic’s Redken Barbering at 190 Lee Road and Center Court Barber Shop at 1910 Lee Road. I get my hair cut further up the road, but both shops look to do a good business but I can not recall ever seeing a Black man in Dominic’s or a White man in Center Court. Are they separate but equal?

Does the Civil Rights Act of 1964 compel either shop to serve customers the owners would otherwise reject? I can’t tell.

It is possible that as young men the two owners once worked in the same shop and decided that they could make good livings by opening up two shops, side-by-side, to make a point about equality and personal freedom. I don’t know.

Those barbershops are examples of action, the hard part of being a citizen.

Passing laws, not so much.

Roldo Bartimole writes:

It was a pleasure to see the Plain Dealer front page today. The PD for the first time in my memory asked a question that needed to be asked: “If Progressive Field needs improvements, who will pay the bill?” It was played prominently on Page one.

If there is any other board that needs PD probing besides the Port Authority it is the Gateway Economic Development Corp., the entity Cuyahoga County set up to own and operate the baseball field and the basketball arena (Progressive Field and the Quicken Arena).

It too has operated in vacuum, unwatched and unattended.

The answers to question about the so-called improvement at the baseball field are evasive both from the Cleveland Indians and from Gateway. True to standard.

Here”s what Indians PR spokesperson Bob DiBiasio said about the big but undisclosed plans, “We”re not there yet. It”s not a question that needs to be asked Continue Reading »

A Florida couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long.

When the male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower; his wife looked at him and said, “How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?”

The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our little tribal experiment coming along?”

“Well, it looks like we’re about half way there,” he replied.

“Wow, you mean it’s grown to 12 inches?”

“No, it’s turned black.

I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

To kill in hot savagery like a beast
is understandable. It is forgivable and curable.
But to kill by design, deliberately, without wrath,
that is sullen labor that perfects Hell.

-from The Morning News, p. 19

Found in my electronic chapbook.

From Farming: A Hand Book by Wendell Berry.

Hiring your friends shoddy workers can be dangerous when the project they’re working on is critical to your country’s economic future. That maxim doesn’t seem to have entered the minds, however, of Myanmar’s military dictators; although it has become abundantly clear that it ought to have done.

From the Asia Sentinel:

[I]n Burma the key to business success in the country is close ties to the ruling generals. But it is less well understood just how much this chronic cronyism affects the lives of ordinary Burmese.

Recently, however, the junta’s habit of awarding lucrative contracts to regime-connected companies has been blamed for the ongoing failure of efforts to improve Rangoon’s access to electricity. Officials say that a plan to build a pipeline from the Gulf of Martaban to Burma’s former capital and largest city has stalled due to quality-control issues. The pipeline project, which is estimated to be worth about US $500 million, is being carried out by IGE Co Ltd, run by Nay Aung and Pyi Aung, sons of Minister of Industry 1 Aung Thaung.

IGE is a major supplier of substation and transmission line materials, oil and gas, and CNG filling stations for government projects.

With an election coming later this year, the regime promised to boost Rangoon’s power supply by the end of April. For this reason, Minister of Energy Lun Thi pushed IGE to conclude the pipeline project one month ahead of its original deadline. Now accused of shoddy quality control in its work on the project, IGE is blaming Lun Thi for the problems it is now facing.

The delays could not come at a worse time. Burma is experiencing its most severe heat wave in years, straining the city’s limited resources, including its access to water, which requires electric pumps to ensure an adequate supply.

“It’s like living in hell,” said one NGO worker. “The heat is intense, and we can’t run our air conditioners or water pumps because of a lack of electricity.”

Inside the palaces, I’m sure, the air is cooled and dried to perfection.

From Faux News:

On Wednesday, Hillary Clinton was challenged by the press about the Clinton family’s acceptance of more than $900,000 in free private travel from Infousa, a company linked to scamming the elderly.

Her reply? She said that she had complied with all Senate ethics rules and reimbursed the company for the amount of a first class air ticket – usually about 1 percent of the cost of the luxurious private jet travel. According to Hillary, “Those were the rules. You’ll have to ask someone else if it’s good policy.”

In other words, get lost.

Is there anyone out there who would say it’s good policy for a U.S. senator and presidential candidate to accept apparently tax-free gifts of almost a million dollars from a corporation – especially a corporation involved in providing lists of vulnerable elderly people to scam artists?

And it’s not like the Clintons couldn’t afford to buy an air ticket – the family income since 2001 has been more than $63 million! So why do they have to freeload from rich friends?

Well, evidently Hillary doesn’t think that she should be the one to consider whether it makes ethical sense to have rich pals pay for a U.S. senator’s family vacations.

That’s up to “someone else…”

But, Hillary has decided it is up to her – and not someone else – to determine whether corporate policies that allow huge payments and perks to CEOs make good policy. And her answer is a resounding, “NO” … unless, it seems, if she’s benefiting from the perks.

Previously…

Via Mika Johnson:

This site features two film trailers that were co-produced by Oberlin College and created by 20 students, 3 staff members, over 30 individuals from the Oberlin, Lorain and the greater Cleveland community, and 20 institutions/businesses, such as the Cleveland Zoo and the Cleveland Natural History Museum, who loaned this project cars and props or opened up their homes, businesses ad spaces so that these trailers could be created.

With subtitles in Arabic, Japanese, Chinese, and English, the two preview trailers, for a feature titled “AMERIKA: a notebook in three parts,” are the centerpiece for a multi-platform awareness initiative that includes essays on some of the film’s main themes and opportunities for the public to get involved through petitions, donations to particular non-profit organizations and helpful lifestyle tips that are part of a larger global movement for change.

The first time I became aware of the alternative spelling for America, it was in one of Abbie Hoffman’s books (about 1970, I think; sadly someone stole my copy). Like anything-gate, I think the spelling has lost any power it might have once had.