0742: PenHouse Retreat Center

The making of Pickle…

From 1730 today until 1830 tomorrow, I will be off-line. There will be no new posts during this time, nor will I be checking email. Go for a walk. Have coffee with a friend. Read a book.

This past week I reduced the contents of my closet. You can see the before and (mouse over) after results above.

I donated two suits, two suit jackets and a blazer to Suited For Men. Three pairs of black jeans, seven pairs of shorts, five dress shirts, four sweaters, six colored t-shirts went to Goodwill Industries.

I can’t begin to tell you how good this feels.

*Going Up From Egypt…

The making of Ralphy is delivered…

MYANMAR/BURMA — Empires on land have risen and fallen throughout history, but they all pale when compared to the grandeur and economic might of the few nations — Spain, Portugal, The Netherlands, England, Japan and the United States able to project power and control at sea. Nuclear weapons would seem to have thrown the balance back to landed powers, but blue-water navies still dominate because the vast majority of world commerce must still travel at speeds measured in knots and not miles or kilometers per hour.

China aspires to such greatness in the 21st century. It is building a Navy tailored to that reach that aspiration and the Indian Ocean ports of Myanmar are vital to that plan.

From Global Intelligence Report:

Two warships of the People’s Republic of China People’s Liberation Army-Navy docked at a port in Myanmar on August 29, 2010, in the first publicized PLAN ship visit — but not the first actual PLAN visit — to Myanmar.

It was a move designed to help pre-position the PRC in its relations with Myanmar in the lead up to that country’s upcoming national elections. The move also ended two decades of discreet PRC approaches to its naval presence in the Indian Ocean. It also follows the open PLAN task force presence in anti-piracy operations off the Horn of Africa, and the now open commitment to use of the Pakistani Baluchistan port of Gwadar, at the entrance to the Persian Gulf.

Significantly, although the PRC maintains itself as both a heartland and maritime power, it is aware that the great challenge to break out from US global strategic dominance is essentially a maritime matter. Given economic and other realities, the US will be forced to rely increasingly on the US Navy — and particularly the Seventh Fleet in the Pacific and Indian Oceans — to project US influence.

At first glance, the United States Navy, with our aircraft carriers, looks overwhelmingly more powerful than even the projected Chinese fleet, but China is building giant killers in the form attack submarines and anti-ship missiles. In 1979, when the U.S. Bainbridge was on point in the Gulf of Oman for the most powerful naval Armada ever assembled to face off against Iran, what we feared most were the Harpoon missiles we had sold the Shah before his downfall.

Watch in the near future for the renewal of calls for the 600-ship Navy that we never had.

Make this morning a good morning, Myanmar.

Yesterday I wrote about my most unusual and disturbing experience at the Heinen’s in Pepper Pike.

This afternoon, the store’s General Manager Neal Farren called me and apologized, twice, to me for what he said was clearly a customer service failure.

As someone who has written about business and owned a business, I appreciated Neal’s call and told him so. We all make mistakes and I feel confident that, at least as Neal’s store, the problem has been fixed. Over the next few days I’m going to do an unscientific survey of a couple other stores to see if Neal communicated the issue to his peers and if they too have taken any action.

If you’re in a Heinen’s this weekend, check out the containers at the Salads We Love salad bar and see if that 1/2 pint, small container is there for you.

Before I reveal my own priceless pearls of wisdom, I got a chuckle from Susan Orleans piece in the New Yorker on the subject of her advice for writers.

I am dismayed to realize that much of the advice I used to parcel out to aspiring writers has passed its sell-by date. In the past, I had a fairly standard set of suggestions for anyone who wanted to write for a living. Move to a medium-sized city, I’d say. Get a job writing for the paper, any paper—don’t forget the alternative newsweeklies, the local rags, even the community newsletters. Don’t go to graduate school—it’s expensive, and no one cares about writing degrees. And, most important, don’t move back home! Your parents will make you go to law school!

So what happened? First of all, many of the medium-sized cities I used to recommend (say, Portland, Oregon) are now overrun with aspiring writers, and have gotten too expensive to qualify anymore as the place to go when you’re an aspiring writer with no hope for gainful employment. The newspapers—well, you don’t need me to tell you that the alternative newsweeklies have folded, the local rags have migrated online, and the community newsletters have been Craigslisted into oblivion. As for my admonition about graduate school, it turns out that if you get a teaching position as part of your deal, it probably pays better than many jobs you might get in that medium-sized city with the non-existent newspaper.

So here’s my bit: first, write; second, ignore the advice, suggestions and criticisms of anyone not willing to cut you a paycheck for your work.

This is why the Navy conducts endless drills.

The error on the [Titanic]’s maiden voyage between Southampton and New York in 1912 happened because at the time seagoing was undergoing enormous upheaval because of the conversion from sail to steam ships.

The change meant there was two different steering systems and different commands attached to them.

Some of the crew on the Titanic were used to the archaic Tiller Orders associated with sailing ships and some to the more modern Rudder Orders.

Crucially, the two steering systems were the complete opposite of one another.

So a command to turn “hard a starboard” meant turn the wheel right under the Tiller system and left under the Rudder.

When First Officer William Murdoch spotted the iceberg two miles away, his “hard a-starboard” order was misinterpreted by the Quartermaster Robert Hitchins.

He turned the ship right instead of left and, even though he was almost immediately told to correct it, it was too late and the side of the starboard bow was ripped out by the iceberg.

“The steersman panicked and the real reason why Titanic hit the iceberg, which has never come to light before, is because he turned the wheel the wrong way,” said Lady Patten who is the wife of former Tory Education minister, Lord (John) Patten.

Whilst her grandfather Lightoller was not on watch at the time of the collision, her book Good as Gold reveals that a dramatic final meeting of the four senior officers took place in the First Officer’s cabin shortly before Titanic went down.

There, Lightoller heard not only about the fatal mistake, but also what happened next, up on the bridge.

While Hitchins had made a straightforward error, what followed was a deliberate decision.

Bruce Ismay, chairman of Titanic’s owner, the White Star Line, persuaded the Captain to continue sailing.

And people wonder why I always mistrust anything coming out of the mouth of a corporate executive or spokesweasel.

0852: A fresh start

0846: Here we go again

0831: On Chris Redfern’s vocabulary, apologies to my mom

MYANMAR/BURMA — The 12 United Nations delegates who delivered a scathing denunciation of the human rights situation in Burma were about as effective as Senator Robert Byrd as he was wheeled down the aisle of the senate calling shame, shame to the Republican members of the senate for praying he would be too sick to attend a middle-of-the-night vote on health care reform.

From the Democratic Voice of Burma:

Burma’s delegate at the conference, Maung Lwin, faced bruising remarks from diplomats from the EU, US, Australia, Japan and Norway, with the looming elections and a possible UN inquiry into war crimes in the pariah taking centre-stage at the 17 September debate.

After which Maung Lwin returned to the embassy to sooth his bruises with a fine single malt Scotch and Cuban cigar while having a great laugh with the embassy staff at the silliness of the delegates. [I just made that bit up, but you know I’m right. JH]

If we can’t seal off Myanmar from all trade going in and out then perhaps its time to take a page from Rep. Charlie Wilson (D-Texas).

All else is just talk talk.*

Make this morning a good morning, Myanmar.

*The Music Machine did it first…

I didn’t go shopping yesterday so I didn’t have anything in the fridge to pack for my lunch today. That was no big deal because my first student wasn’t until 10 this morning and I had plenty of time to stop at the Heinen’s across the road from the Orange branch of the County Library where I would meet the student.

I stopped at the deli counter and bought 1/4 pound of sandwich pepperoni for $1.30 and 1/4 pound of sharp cheddar for $1.40. No problem. Then I thought to myself, “Self,” I said why not pick up something green. Heinen’s has a small salad bar containing what it calls “Salads We Love,” which includes a broccoli salad with cashews, bacon, red onion and a sweetish dressing.

I went to grab a container to scoop my salad into but only found the pint and quart-sized containers, no 1/2 pint or 1 cup containers. I stepped to my right a few paces and waited for one of the deli ladies to finish with her customer and asked if she could please hand me one of the small containers.

The conversation went something like this:

Her: “I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to do that. The scales at the registers are only calibrated for the medium and large containers.”

Me: [Thinking: WTF?) “I don’t care about the weight of the container, I would just like a small container please.”

Her: “I’m sorry, you have to use the medium or large containers for the salad bar.”

Me: You mean that you’re willing to lose a sale because you’re not authorized to let me have a small container?

Her: “I’m sorry. I can’t give you a small container.”

I walked away at that point and found a man who looked like he might be a manager. He wasn’t but he tried to explain to me why I had to use a medium or large container because the registers — something about “tare?” — weren’t set up for the small containers. My every reply to his explanations was: “Lost sale.”

Finally, a woman joined us and quickly saw that a manager was needed. She told me that she would find one quickly, and she did. The manager came over and introduced himself — I’m ashamed to say that in my typical fashion I’ve forgotten his name — shook my hand and asked how he could help me.

I ran through what I wanted a fourth time and he asked me why I didn’t just fill the pint container half way?

I replied that he could call me a crazy customer who wants a 1 cup container and not a 1 pint container, and who is willing to pay the fraction of a cent difference in price for using a smaller container than the register would recognize.

Because he was a manager, able to ignore rules when they make no sense, he asked the deli lady to hand me a container. She did. I thanked her and shook the manager’s hand. Problem solved after about 15 minutes of my time.

Then I got to the register and I was all prepared for the cashier to be perplexed with how she was going to ring up my broccoli salad in a small, not medium or large, container. Guess what? No problem!

As you can see by the photo below, the register rang up my purchase as a small container of Salads We Love for $2.10.

Walking out, I began to wonder, why all this hassle? Was it poor communications? Was it improper training? Did I just pick a bad morning?

Then it hit me. I think I had just been the victim of a Supersize attempt. Somebody at Heinen’s had read the McDonald’s playbook.

Heinen’s wants to sell more product. That’s what businesses do. Customers are in many ways predictable creatures and if given a container to fill, they will fill it. I could have put 1 cup of salad in a 2 cup container, but I’m willing to bet that I would have bought more than the $2.10 worth of salad I put in the small container.

I like Heinen’s, a lot. I put it second only to Zagara’s Marketplace which is a five minute walk from my apartment. And I can’t blame the management for not putting out the small containers as part of a Supersize strategy.

But here’s the nut. Three Heinen’s employees were willing to lose the sale because of a policy they did not really understand. Now, the loss in this case would only be $2.10 (or $4.80 if I had been angry enough to just walk out without buying anything, something I’ve done in the past when faced with poor service) but what if I’d had $200 in my cart? Would those Heinen’s employees really risk losing a $200 or more sale because they were told to not give out small containers?

That is not a solid business strategy.

[Updatge @ 1324: I’ve sent the following email to Heinen’s:

Shalom Y’all,

I think you will find the following of interest on Have Coffee Will Write under the headline: HEINEN’S WANTED ME TO SUPERSIZE MY ORDER…

In case your email system doesn’t recognize hyperlinks, the URL is:

HEINEN’S WANTED ME TO SUPERSIZE MY ORDER…

B’shalom,

Jeff Hess
216.554.1674

We’ll see what happens next.]

MYANMAR/BURMA — The Wall Street Journal calls the administration of President Barack Hussein Obama on what its executives see as business as usual in Myanmar. I can’t say that I disagree that our present dialogue through Assistant Secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific Affairs Kurt Campbell (the Journal shortens his title to diplomat) has not proven publicly fertile. Is talking better than nothing?

Via BurmaNet News:

The State Department’s top official for Asia scored points for honesty and U.S. political leadership last week when he admitted Burma’s upcoming elections “will be without international legitimacy.” Too bad he ruined the moment by continuing to push for “dialogue” as “among all the difficult options, the best way forward.”

Kurt Campbell is an astute diplomat who has pressed for closer engagement with Japan, Australia and other U.S. allies in the region. Yet he’s also one of the architects of State’s policy of “pragmatic engagement” with Burma that has manifestly failed.

Do the people of Myanmar, particularly those in the northern and eastern ethnic regions, think our policy has failed. Do they even know that our policy exists?

Make this morning a good morning, Myanmar.

1210: Teaching Our Kids About Catastrophes Doesn’t Have To Be A Disaster

MYANMAR/BURMA — All revolutions are economic, whether it is the wealthy seeking reduced taxes or the workers seeking a living wage. Throughout history, the former has sought to prevent the latter from agitating for reform legal and extra-legal means. Myanmar’s State Peace and Development Council (aka the nation’s military dictators) now wields a club of the legal (at least in their minds) kind against workers.

From Green Left:

The military junta of Burma decreed a new regulation on August 20, at a meeting in Rangoon attended by industry employers, government ministers and Burmese military officials, including Lt-Gen Myint Swe of the ministry of defence.

It said whoever launches or takes part in industrial protests demanding better rights or conditions would be fired and blacklisted.

The reason for the decree, labour activists in Burma believe, is that the junta wants to prevent further industrial action and employers don’t want their workers taking action to demand better wages.

Now they can fire those who protest and stop them from getting jobs elsewhere.

In March, workers at industries such as Shwe Pyi Thar, Taung Dagon and Hlaing Thayar launched protests demanding that employers give them time off during public holidays and increase their salaries and payments for working overtime.

An industrial worker in Burma earns about US$20-40 monthly. Many have to work overtime to augment their insufficient income.

Historically, labour movements have played a big role in the Burmese people’s struggles against colonialism and fascist military dictatorships.

Burma has experienced two big uprisings in its history in which the workers played the leading role, together with students and the general public. These were the “1300 [Burmese calendar] anti-colonial uprising” and the student-led “8888” pro-democracy demonstrations in 1988.

As far as the generals, and their corporate masters, are concerned, these people should be grateful to be working at all and not living on the streets, right?

Make this morning a good morning, Myanmar.

Inspired by Cleveland’s Swamp Boogie Band rendition of 455 Rocket.

The making of Oldsmobile 455 Rocket…

I think I last used Ask Jeeves sometime in the early ’90s. It never was a particularly helpful site.

This morning, however, perhaps in a desperate attempt to kick some life into the system, the BBC has a story titled: Top 10 ‘unanswerable’ questions revealed. Clearly people involved in the story at the BBC and Ask Jeeves don’t understand what unanswerable means. Of the ten questions I can only see two — Is there a God? and How Long Will I Live? as unanswerable: the former because it involves an untestable assertion and the latter because it involves an event that has not yet happened.

The other eight — What is the meaning of life? Do blondes have more fun? What is the best diet? Is there anybody out there? Who is the most famous person in the world? What is love? What is the secret to happiness? Did Tony Soprano die? — all have testable parameters for which answers could be formulated if anyone wished to devote the time and energy to do so.

0658: Down with pennies! (and nickels too)

MYANMAR/BURMA — In the ’70s when my ship, the USS Bainbridge, CGN-25, pulled into Pattaya Beach, Thailand, two of my friends hopped the first transportation they could to get to Burma to buy rubies. I never learned how successful there were, but they had dollar signs in their eyes as they set out.

The ruby-red dollar signs these days are in the eyes of the State Peace and Development Council (aka, Myanmar’s military dictators).

From The Daily Mail:

They are the most expensive gems per carat on Earth — and Burma is blessed with an abundance of them. The trade in Burmese rubies is banned, but as a Live investigation discovers, the country’s corrupt military junta is forcing people to mine them in slave-labour conditions to line their own pockets — and business is booming.

Anyone who trades — either way — with Myanmar is guilty of collusion in abuse, slavery, torture and war crimes. Are your profits worth that?

Make this morning a good morning, Myanmar.

Via Sherry Chandler…