Compliments of John Pike comes this link to a hilarious Tom Cruise spoof. The whole thing had me spraying coffee, but this bit with throwing lightening bolts at Oprah Winfrey is just plain precious. I had a brush with Scientology in Seattle back in 1976. I even bought the book. I should have given the cash to the panhandler on the sidewalk.

Here’re three words to add to George Carlin’s famous list: Wal Mart, Big Box and Moratorium. The town council of Yelm, Washington, doesn’t want to hear its constituents utter those horrible words and the American Civil Liberties Union is not happy, says an Associated Press story published on the Boston Globe’s website. According to ACLU Challenges Speak No Wal Mart Policy:

The ban began because council members were fed up with complaints about the proposed superstore and related demands for a moratorium on big-box stores, municipal attorney Brent Dille said. He said officials also didn’t want to appear biased if the council ever hears appeals in the matter.

The policy has been increasingly restrictive over the past five months. No one who signs up to speak at a council meeting about big-box stores, much less Wal-Mart, is allowed to talk, and anyone who mentions either is told to sit down.

Sounds like a White House press conference.

My Soundtrack: Girls And Boys by Blur on WOXY Vintage.

In My Backpack… Women’s Reality by Anne Wilson Schaef; In My Car… Naked Prey by John Sanford; On My Nightstand… Joseph Andrews and Shamela by Henry Fielding; On My Computer… A Primer of the Daily Round by Howard Nemerov; On My Screen… Mr. Monk Goes To Jail (**) directed by Jerry Levine and written by Chris Manheim .

My Soundtrack: Don’t Care by Klark Kent on WOXY Vintage.

When I was stationed at Great Lakes Naval Training Station in 1975, I used to spend duty weekends playing military simulation games. One of my favorites was Avalon Hill’s 1776. I prefer to play the historical losers in any game and so I took the British. And I mopped up the map with the Continental Army. Again and again.

But I didn’t win because of my masterful grasp of grand strategy and in-the-shit tactics. No. I won because my opponent didn’t grasp what General George Washington figured out after the disastrous battle of New York in 1776: the Americans win not by beating the British army, but by staying alive.

Every time the American player goes toe-to-toe with the British player, he gets his butt kicked. But if the American player fights little battles — think Washington at Trenton — and keeps the British chasing him across the map, he wins.

I was reminded of all this on Monday, Independence Day, when the Diane Rehm Show rebroadcast an interview with David McCullough about his book: 1776. In the interview, McCullough made the same observation: the goal of General Washington was not to defeat the 30,000 troops under General William Howe, Washington’s goal was to keep the Continental Army alive.

We Americans do a poor job of understanding our own history. The rest of the world, however, does not suffer under that handicap. In the modern world, we are the British and Al-Qaeda is the Americans. Now, before some freeper jumps all over my blog, I’m not in any way suggesting that Al-Qaeda, or any rebel force, has a moral equivalency to the American Revolutionaries. But strategically, it is the same place General Washington was in 1776.

What I am saying is that to win the war, Al-Qaeda does not have to defeat the United States military, it only has to stay alive and, when opportunity presents itself, fight the little battles. Like the bombings in London yesterday.

Tragically 38 humans lost their lives, and approximately another 50 were seriously injured in the savage, cowardly attack. How will Britain react? There will be lots of speeches from politicians vowing to find and punish those responsible. No politician who wants to get re-elected can say to too many constituents, “I’m sorry, I can’t do anything about your problem.”

There will be military strikes in Afghanistan and Iraq. Terrorists will die. And then they will attack us someplace else.

One of the definitions of insanity is the repeated execution of a certain activity and expecting a result different from all previous actions. In the War on Poverty, the War on Drugs, the War on Terror, or any other War on that you wish to name, the United States has used the same strategies of force over and over again with the same disastrous results.

Great Britain has been battling the terrorists and insurgents (from the British point-of-view) of the Irish Republican Army for the better part of a century. I think it’s important to take note of how successful they have been in their own War on Terror.

People fighting for what they perceive as freedom — and don’t make the mistake of thinking that to Al-Qaeda and its permutations that freedom is not an issue — are a tenacious bunch.

The point is not to just stop doing the same thing, but to start doing something different. What is that something different? We have a serious lack of successful models. Where in the world has any Western power defeated a native insurgency over the long-haul?

I don’t advocate our withdrawal from Iraq. We made a mistake in attacking Saddam Hussein. We’re in there now and we have a moral obligation to do our damnedest to create a viable democracy.

But we need new ideas — and not just a rehash of either traditional Conservative or Liberal approaches. We need to answer questions like: why is Al Qaeda really doing what it is doing? Can we take that reason off the table? Can we isolate Al Qaeda from its support base? Can we make the alternatives so attractive that Al Qaeda’s supporters abandon it?

Those will do for a start. Any suggestions?

My Soundtrack: Mornings Eleven by The Magic Numbers on WOXY.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How do you keep a Wal Mart store from wrecking your community? Here are eight ways courtesy of Al Norman.

● Quote Sam Walton.
● Learn Wal-math.
● Exploit its errors.
● Fight capital with capital.
● Beat it at the grass roots.
● Get out your vote.
● Appeal to the heart as well as the head.
● Hire a professional.

My Soundtrack: Booksmart Devil by Silversun Pickups on WOXY.

In My Backpack… Women’s Reality by Anne Wilson Schaef; In My Car… Naked Prey by John Sanford; On My Nightstand… Joseph Andrews and Shamela by Henry Fielding; On My Computer… Selecting a Reader by Ted Kooser; On My Screen… Mr. Monk Goes To Jail (**) directed by Jerry Levine and written by Chris Manheim .

My Soundtrack: Supersonic by Oasis on WOXY.

When I lived in the Pacific Northwest in the ’70s I would often see bumper stickers with different versions of the message: Don’t Californicate Oregon.

The name changed — sometimes it was Washington or Seattle or Portland — but the message was always the same: we like how we live, thank you very much, so don’t try to turn our community into a knock-off of where you came from.

That spirit continues in Oregon as noted yesterday by Floyd McKay in his Seattle Times column. What was called the McDonaldization of America has become The Wal Marting of America and McKay gives voice to his readers feelings in: Tackling Wal-Mart takes Oregonization. He writes:

Nothing I have written in the past three years has drawn the response of a Feb. 17, 2004 column deploring the Wal-Marting of America. I still get e-mails from people who have seen it on various Web sites, usually asking how to stop a Wal-Mart in their town.

My answer is simple: Organize.

Last night I attended my second Stop Wal Mart house party. This time it was on West 103rd and the crowd came with lawn chairs. Councilman Jay Westbrook (D-18) was there along with a dozen or so neighbors. People talked. People listened.

There was one woman there who wasn’t sure she bought why she shouldn’t shop at Wal Mart. George Nemeth of Brewed Fresh Daily went over to speak with her. That’s how organization works. One person at a time.

My Soundtrack: Good Dreams by Superchunk on WOXY.

In My Backpack… Women’s Reality by Anne Wilson Schaef; In My Car… Naked Prey by John Sanford; On My Nightstand… Joseph Andrews and Shamela by Henry Fielding; On My Computer… The Exchange by Ron Rash; On My Screen… CSI: Turn Of The Screws (**) directed by Deran Sarafian and written by Carol Mendelsohn and Rich Cataloni .

My Soundtrack: Youth Against Facism by Sonic Youth on WOXY.

This is a very scary statement: Journalists are not entitled to promise complete confidentiality – no one in America is. That is the written opinion of U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, the prosecutor in the Valerie Plame case, delivered in court documents to U.S. District Judge Thomas Hogan, according to the Associated Press.

[Update: cleveland.com and neobabble are still down, but Chas Rich has this to say:

It is clear though (and I mentioned this last week) that they are planning to build this thing regardless of costs and without any real debate or say by the taxpayers — much as we were warned by Prof. Sanders.

Clearly the County Commissioners and whoever will be the Mayor are all lining up to support this. Meaning that all the usual interests (and their donations) are behind it. If anything, probably more now that Forest City’s plan is out.]

Some people are just too stupid or too greedy. They figure that if they lie long enough about something, it becomes the truth. The Cleveland Plain Dealer this morning trumpets Panel ready to recommend larger space for conventions on page one of the Metro Section. PD reporter Sarah Hollander writes:

Bigger is better. So says the group charged with recommending the best location, size and financing plan for a new Cleveland convention center. The group likely will choose the larger of two proposals – 300,000 square feet as opposed to 200,000 – for a renovated exhibit hall under the downtown
malls.

Barring a major shift in opinion, the Cleveland-Cuyahoga County Convention Facilities Authority will vote for the larger option in about two weeks. The authority”s planning committee voted Friday to recommend 300,000 square feet to the full board.

So. How big of a whack in the side of the head does it take to create a major shift in opinion? Back on Thursday, 16 June, Heywood Sanders came to town and blasted a hole in convention-center sycophants big enough to cruise the William G. Mather through. Brewed Fresh Daily has the podcast of Sanders’ talk.

The whole Advance.net system is down, reportedly due to a power outage in New Jersey, so Chas Rich at NEO Babble hasn’t had a chance to weigh in on the story yet, but expect a minor thermonuclear event when the system is back up.

My Soundtrack: Tied Up Too Tight by Hard-Fi on WOXY.;

My Soundtrack: Turn Up The Sun by Oasis on WOXY.

From Wesley Pruden via John Pike: Live 8 concerts are nice, and the photographs of starving children will break the coldest heart, but unless [donors] accompany aid with the kind of supervision nobody has the courage to impose, the aid will wind up in the usual Swiss banks, and 20 years from now another generation of children will die while naive hearts bleed.

Corn Cob Bob got caught in the boilerplate. The nubby mascot for the Canadian Renewable Fuels Association got shucked when Shell Canada enforced an exclusivity clause in a sponsorship contract for a Canada Day celebration in Ottawa. Bob hands out ballons and temporary tattoos at events to educate children about renewable fuels.

According to the Canadian Broadcast Corporation:

A Shell spokesperson said the company’s arrangement with organizers meant it had exclusive rights when it came to fuel products.

That is not an unusual arrangement. If Coke is sponsoring an event, it doesn’t want Pepsi signing on as a co-sponsor. Regardless, the National Capital Commission caved and:

…called Monday afternoon to apologize to the Canadian Renewable Fuels Association, and invited the group to attend next year’s Canada Day celebrations.

Presumably, next year the NCC will read its own contracts more closely.

My Soundtrack: Future Shock by Matthew Sweet on WOXY.

In My Backpack… Women’s Reality by Anne Wilson Schaef; In My Car… Naked Prey by John Sanford; On My Nightstand… Joseph Andrews and Shamela by Henry Fielding; On My Computer… Morning and Night by Jeff Hardin; On My Screen… CSI: Early Rollout (**) directed by Duane Clarke and written by Elizabeth Devine.

My Soundtrack: Suicide, Slip And Slide by Kosheen on WOXY.

There are lots of non-partisan reasons to not shop at Wal Mart: low wages, poor employee treatment, child-labor law violations, bad community citizenship, trade with China, etc. But, if you care which political party your money is going to, then there’s a partisan issue to consider as well.

According to Buy Blue, in the 2003-4 election cycle, Wal Mart invested $1,752,750 in political candidates. 78.45 perecent of that, or $1,375,032, went to Republicans.

Compare that to Wal Mart competitor Costco: $224,803, 99 percent to Democrats.

Whom is your money supporting?

My Soundtrack: Last Clown by Turin Brakes on WOXY.

John Lovas died on Tuesday, 21 June 2005. He taught writing at Deanza Community College in Cupertino, California. I never met Lovas. I can’t even say I knew him. But I read his blog and I enjoyed and agreed with much of what he wrote about writing. I found out about his passing from another of my regular blog reads: Shamash Says.

In a comment to her posting I asked the questions:

…will anyone pay the bill to his blog host when it comes due? Or will the files be deleted, the data overwritten and the words lost?

Yes, I know that his blog is on the university computers, but has anyone told the sysop that Lovas’ files are important?

My friend and webgoddess Terry at I See Invisible People has learned a great deal from reading diaries from the War of Northern Aggression. Diaries have long been a primary source for historians. People don’t write diaries anymore. But we do write blogs.

What happens to our blogs when we die?

This is not a matter of narcissism. Ask anyone who wants to know how people lived in any era, it is the writings of the common people that often matter the most.

The friends and readers of John Lovas have come together in a cyberwake to speak their truths about one man. Sometime ago I wrote about the blogosphere and community. How should be celebrate our community and mourn its losses?

My Soundtrack: Pavement Tune by The Frames on WOXY.