From my dad, of course…

THINGS YOU COULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON’T:

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. (But he does wear a towel when he steps out of the shower, go figure. JH)

Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

Upper- and lower-case letters are named ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the Upper case’ letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.

Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time, hence multi-tasking was invented.

Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos or chewing gum for sale.

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver.

A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

The mask used by Michael Myers in the original ‘Halloween’ was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar (good to know.)

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)

The phrase ‘rule of thumb’ is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It’s the same with apples. (Celery I might buy, but apples? I’m calling bullshit. JH)

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

Write what you need to write, not what is currently popular or what you think will sell. PD James

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — If you live in Myanmar it is highly unlikely, even if you live in an urban area where Internet access is nominally available, that you are aware of events in Cairo. Observers are drawing too many comparisons between realities in both countries and the State Peace and Development Council (aka Myanmar’s military dictators) do not want their subjects to get the wrong ideas.

From Mizzima:

News relating to the people’s uprising in Egypt against Hosni Mubarak has been heavily censored in Burma’s state-run and private media.

While stories about the mass demonstrations have dominated coverage in the international media for 14 days, the Burmese government’s censorship department under the Ministry of Information has severely restricted what Burmese citizens can read or see.

“Photos about the news are not allowed’, said the editor of a private journal in Rangoon. “But, we can publish a little news with tight restrictions. We are not allowed to use phrases such as “trying to overthrow the dictatorship”. We cannot report about the riots. But, we can report about the discussion between Mubarak and the opposition. And the news about the uprising, we are not allowed to display it on the covers’.

Another editor told Mizzima, ‘We were not allowed to call it a mass political movement’.

The state-run media in Burma have not used any stories about the daily demonstrations in Egypt.

If the generals don’t report it, it didn’t happen.

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

From my dad, of course…

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating Back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the L.A. Times read: “California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.”

One week later, The Charleston Gazette, a local newspaper in Charleston, W.Va. reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Possum Hollow, Bubba Brown, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, W.Va. had already gone wireless.”

Just makes me proud to be from West Virginia!

Don’t just plan to write – write. It is only by writing, not dreaming about it, that we develop our own style. PD James

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — From my point of view, this news ought to go without saying, yet it can be good to remind those often distracted by world events — Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, etc., etc. — that the charade continues in Myanmar.

From Channel News Asia:

Myanmar may have announced a new president this week, but analysts say the country’s ageing junta chief will still pull the strings in the new political system.

Than Shwe, who began his authoritarian rule in 1992, will try to ensure his own safety by maintaining his influence behind the scenes after the rise of his key ally Thein Sein to president, according to experts.

The exact retirement plans of the ageing postman turned psychological warfare officer remain shrouded in mystery.

But if anyone was under the impression that he had quietly faded into the background with the selection of a new political leader, a prominent message on the front of the main state newspaper served to underline his strength.

The squat septuagenarian was pictured Saturday in full military uniform, chest bristling with medals but without the customary dark glasses, above the announcement of the country’s new president.

“Maybe whoever is in charge of the newspaper they just wanted to confirm that Than Shwe is still the boss,” said Thailand-based Myanmar expert Aung Naing Oo.

Described by critics as brutal, paranoid and heavily influenced by astrology, Than Shwe swept his enemies from key positions after taking power, including purging Prime Minister Khin Nyunt in October 2004.

Brutal? Check. Paranoid? Check. Heavily influenced by astrology? Check. I have no doubts that he is a swinish dictator who will give up his country when his bank account is pried from his cold dead fingers.

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

From my dad, of course…

On my way home from work, I stopped at a Mexican take-away place for a quick bite to eat. I had a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figured with the $2 bill, I could get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: “Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.”
Server: “That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?”
Me: “No, it’s to go.” At this point, I opened my billfold and handed him the $2 bill. He looked at it kind of funny.
Server: “Uh, hang on a sec, Ill be right back.”

He went to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurred between the two of them:

Server: “Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?”
Manager: “No. A what?”
Server: “A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…”
Manager: “Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.”
Server: “Yeah, thought so.” Continue Reading »

Read widely and with discrimination. Bad writing is contagious. PD James

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — The, now-former, No. 1 prisoner of the State Peace and Development Council has not forgotten nos. 2-2200+ who remain imprisoned for political crimes against the state. Writing in her monthly Letter From Burma for the Mainichi Daily News, Aung San Suu Kyi reminds the world that thousands are not yet free.

There remain in the jails of Burma over two thousand two hundred political prisoners of whom barely twenty are known by name to the world at large. The more than two thousand who remain anonymous are our unknown soldiers, the unsung heroes and heroines who have worked quietly to keep the movement for democracy strong and vital.

On 4 January 2011, the Sixty Third Anniversary of Burma’s Independence from colonialism, the National Leagues for Democracy arranged a random draw of the names of political prisoners by those who were willing to take the responsibility of supporting them materially or morally as far as circumstances allowed. The young man who fell to my lot was one of the unknown soldiers. He had been arrested in 2007 for attempting to pray for the release of political prisoners at the Shwedagon Pagoda.

Many of the young people who had all been involved in the prayer movement were now scattered in prisons across Burma but he was relatively fortunate as he was at Insein Jail, not too far away from his home. Preparing the food parcel to be sent to him was a reminder of the abstemious conditions under which our comrades in jail have to pass their days.

There are many simple ways in which prisoners of conscience act as the keepers of our conscience. When I was under house arrest, I made a habit of having breakfast quite late so that in my hunger I would not forget our comrades who were incarcerated not in their own homes but in jails, often in places far distant from where their families lived.

I knew they would not only be much hungrier than I was but would also be obliged to make do with the meagre and tasteless rations that would be meted out to them. It renewed my commitment to our cause and refreshed my respect and affection for my colleagues on a daily basis.

How might I, how might you, act today and tomorrow?

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

From my dad, of course…

A man is having his first proctology exam. The nurse told him to have a seat in the examination room and said the doctor would be with him in just a few minutes.

As he waited, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor’s desk: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove and a beer.

When the doctor appeared, the man said, “Look Doc, this is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but what’s the beer for?”

The doctor curses in exasperation, flung open the door, and yelled to his nurse. “Nurse! I said to bring me a butt light

Increase your word power. Words are the raw material of our craft. The greater your vocabulary the more effective your writing. We who write in English are fortunate to have the richest and most versatile language in the world. Respect it. PD James

Ten rules for writing fiction from The Guardian.

Found in my electronic chapbook.

MYANMAR/BURMA — What possible reasons Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon could have to be hopeful about the election of Thein Sein and his vice presidents I can’t imagine.

From the UN News Centre:

Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon today… voiced hope that the move marks the beginning of a change in the status-quo in the South-East Asian country.

[Ki-moon] “hopes that it leads to the formation of a more inclusive civilian government that is broadly representative of all parties relevant to national reconciliation and more responsive to the aspirations of the people of Myanmar.”

What do you do when you have Willy Wonka as the head of the United Nations?

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.

From 1730 today until 1830 tomorrow, I will be off-line. There will be no new posts during this time, nor will I be checking email. Go for a walk. Have coffee with a friend. Read a book.. Appreciate all that is your family.

MYANMAR/BURMA — The faux parliament is seated and, as one of its first actions, has named Thein Sein as the president: safe, dependable and guaranteed to not disrupt the cash flow.

From the BBC:

Thein Sein is a graduate of the elite military school, the Defence Services Academy and went on to command an infantry battalion in Sagaing Division.

He then served under Than Shwe when the latter was the commander-in-chief of the armed forces.

He commanded military operations in Rangoon, and led the newly-formed Triangle Regional Military Command in Kengtung, eastern Shan State, in 1996.

He was made first secretary of the State Peace and Development Council after the downfall of the former intelligence chief General Khin Nyunt in 2004.

He also chaired the National Convention which drafted the country’s new constitution.

“He won’t rock the boat,” said Aung Zaw. “He is not a fire-breathing dragon, so he doesn’t pose any threat to Than Shwe – who will continue to exercise absolute power.”

The senior general needs an acceptable face for the world as part of what he has described as the country’s democratic transition.

Just how far up Thein Sein’s ass is Than Shwe’s arm?

Do what you can to make this a good morning, Myanmar.