I HATE MOWING GRASS…
0400 by Jeff HessThe mowing of lawns is the most worthless task I can think of. If not for concern that my neighbors would complain to me, or the city, about my waist-high grass, I would never mow. I’m not running a golf course here.
Except to clear small areas—like the area around our picnic table and fire pit—I don’t mow our backyard at all. Last year I performed a small experiment by not mowing a strip in the middle of the front yard. Our dogs loved the mini-meadow. This year I expanded the project. I mow the one-third adjacent to the street and the one-third next to the house and have left the middle third to grow naturally. Again, the dogs love the wild area.
I’ve always thought of mowing grass as a kind of pissing contest for non-farmers. (Derf made lawn care a repeating theme for White Suburban Middle Class Man.) Scott Adams has another theory.
Humans are visual creatures. If I see you do something valuable right in front of me it means more than if I hear about something you did in the past. It works the same at your job. If your boss sees you doing something, it means more than if she hears about it later. Optics rule our perceptions.
For many homes, the lawn is the biggest visual cue to a husband’s contribution. In all likelihood, the husband did not build the house. In a two-income household, he didn’t even pay for the entire house. But given our sexist culture, he is probably in charge of the lawn. So if the lawn goes south, he has little to show of his value. His spouse, on the other hand, is often doing one visual thing after another, involving grocery bags, kids, dinner, and keeping up the home. The husband is home at night and on weekends to witness a lot of that action, and, according to studies, he is usually doing less than half of the chores. The husband can witness his wife’s value in a clear, visual way.
The children themselves are also a visual representation of a woman’s value. The man contributed some sperm long ago, probably in the dark. His contribution was visually empty. But nine months of carrying a human in your belly, followed by birth, nursing, and childcare is as visual as you can get.
A typical husband’s contribution to the family happens when he is at work. And unlike the old days where the guy might drag home some animal he killed –which would be visually impressive – today he probably has direct deposit. No one even sees a paycheck.
In 2015, a husband is just an asshole who disappears for half of the day while the wife does all the work.
This is an excellent reason to work from home.













