The Republican convention in Florida was so bad, that the faithful are rolling out this tired, witless attemp at political humor in the hope of distracting voters from the all the flat out lies, ineptitude and bumbling that was one again inconvenienced by
Mother Nature Gawd.
HERE IS THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION SCHEDULE!
HOPE YOU CAN SIGN UP AND GET THERE!
2012 Democratic Convention Schedule – Charlotte, NC
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by Whoopie Goldberg
4:15 PM – Tribute to George Soros for his help in creating and financing the Democratic Platform – Nancy Pelosi
4:30 PM – Reading of the Democratic Platform – Nancy Pelosi XXXX Canceled. Will be passed without reading.
4:30 PM – Tribute to the Occupy Wall Street movement for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment, and boost the economy. – Harry Reid
4:45 PM – Jobs seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.” – Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson
5:00 PM – Travel Seminar; “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime” – Michelle Obama.
5:30 PM – “Family Values” Seminar – Eliot Spitzer (via Satellite)
5:35 PM – Real Estate Bargains Seminar – Tony Rezko
6:00 PM – Home Mortgage Seminar – Barney Frank
6:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by George Clooney
6:15 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
6:30 pm – Kinder, Gentler Bombing Techniques – Bill Ayers
6:45 PM – Paying Your Fair Share – Timothy Geitner
7:00 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally
7:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
7:30 PM – Dramatized film re-enactment of Obama’s single handed capture of Osama Bin Laden – Michael Moore
7:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangle
7:50 PM – Commitment to US border security – Atty Gen Holder
8:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by David Letterman
8:15 PM – Media Seminar “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
9:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers – Dem Natl Cmte Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
9:15 PM – Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / Profiting with Green Investments – Al Gore
10:00 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan
10:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by Barbra Streisand
10:15 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
10:20 PM – Obama accepts Congressional Medal of Honor for Bin Laden capture
10:25 PM – Obama accepts Greenpeace Hero Medal for instant cleanup of Gulf oil spill, and blocking of Keystone Pipeline
10:30 PM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews
10:45 PM – *** Break for installation of additional teleprompters ***
11:00 PM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing (Food stamps distributed to all delegates as they leave.)
1:00 AM – Convention Hall cleared and cleaned
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech