A friend was sitting at a sidewalk table this morning at the Lee Road Phoenix coffeehouse when a car pulled into a parking spot in front of him. The driver — taking a phone call, texting or perhaps having a driveway moment — sat in her car with the engine idling. After several minutes of spewing exhaust fumes into my friend’s face, a woman got out of her car and made to walk into Phoenix for her morning coffee.
My friend reports the following exchange:
Him: Excuse me mam, would you mind turning off your car while you’re parked?
Her: Oh, it’s alright, it’s a hybrid.
When I stopped laughing he suggested two analogs:
Him: Excuse me mam, would you mind not farting?
Her: Oh, it’s alright, I’m a vegetarian.
Him: Excuse me mam, would you mind not smoking?
Her: Oh, it’s alright, they’re filters.
I’m sorry, some people are too stupid to be allowed to procreate.