I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

COLD (REALLY THE ABSENCE OF HEAT) IS A RELATIVE THING…

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in WV plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in WV sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in WV drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in WV throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in WV have their last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
West Virginians close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in WV get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in WV are selling cookies door-to-door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in WV let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
West Virginians get upset because they can’t start the snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
All atomic motion stops.
People in WV start saying, ‘Cold enough fer ya?’

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
WV public schools have a 2 hour delay.