I could never bring myself to forward all the email jokes, cartoons and other Internet comedy that land in my inbox. But then I started posting the ones my dad sends me. Judging from my comments and emails, my dad has become one of my greatest blogging assets. So for your morning blog chuckle I present: From My Dad.

For those of you who are always asking “What does he need for Christmas?” Here are some of the things I purchased recently for my own Christmas.

TRANSPARENT TOASTER: You love toast, but you always burn it? Than, this invention us for you. This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you just have to take it out when the colour is right. This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology.

BANANA GUARD: Protect Your Banana! Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Banana Guard allows you to safely transport and store individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas any time, anywhere.

LOCK-CUP: Lock Cup – Anti-Theft Coffee Cup. Are you tired of others stealing your coffee cup? Well now there’s a solution. The Lock – Cup has a hole which prevents most people from using it Only the owner of the cup can use his/hers shaped key to close the hole.

BUTTER CUTTER: One Click Butter Cutter controls your portion as an important part of staying healthy. This ingenious butter cutter delivers one standard pat with each click of the handle.

GIANT REMOTE: Never lose your remote again! With giant buttons, this extra-large remote is easy to use and impossible to lose. It’s a 6-in-1 remote so you can use it to control your TV, VCR, DVD player, satellite, cable and auxiliary A/V device. It even features glow-in-the-dark buttons, so you can easily find the remote in the dark.

DAY CLOCK: What day is today? You don’t know? Then you need a Day Clock. It’s uniquely designed to keep track of weekly events like your golf day, card night, movie night, and so much more. It’s ideal for vacations and cruises when it’s easy to lose track of the day.

CRIME SCENE TOWEL: Chalk outline crime scene beach towel – be the coolest person on the beach!

LASER SCISSORS: Laser Scissors Cutting a straight line has never been easier. Just aim the pin-point laser and follow the line. The scissor blades are stainless steel and cut very clean with a micro edge.

TOILET SEAT LIFTER: ‘Who left the Toilet Seat up?’ The Peace Maker will end the battle of the toilet seat. Merely step on the pedal to activate the lifting mechanism. When finished, remove your foot from the pedal and the seat gently comes to a rest where it started.

ILLUMINATING CAR SLIPPERS: Do you get up at night to drink water, go to the toilet… Do you wish you could see in the dark? Remarkably bright LED lights are triggered by your footsteps and light up the floor 30 feet in front of you; ultra-soft plush style are extra comfortable and cozy warm. (Now I would clarify this as a necessity!)

‘THE THING’ – INFANT PILLOW: The Zaky is an ergonomic infant pillow designed by a mum to mimic the size, weight, touch, and feel of her hand and forearm to help her baby with comfort, support, protection, and development. The Zaky can help calm your baby and help your baby sleep better through the night.

WHEEL-MOVING BENCH: Whether you want to sit on the sun or in the shade, near the river or under the tree… Now you have your movable bench, to sit wherever you like.

Now that you have seen the Day Clock. That is now my most prized possesion. Being retired, the day is the hardest part to remember. Just to know what day of the week it is — seems to be the toughest because I enjoy everyone of those days now, not just Saturday and Sunday.